Day 4 - (Motivation) Take Charge of your Mental Health

I've seen brilliant dancers burn out during school - not because they weren't good enough, but because they didn't know how to rest, self regulate or ask for help. Mental endurance is part of physical longevity. Train your nervous system like your body. ~Acay Anil

Writing is a tough business. I am not going to lie to you. As a hobby writer, sitting down when you want to and write over a cup of tea in the morning or in the evening is relaxing. Putting words on a page with no pressure of deadlines is enjoyable. There is a freedom of sharing thoughts and expressing your feelings. There is a reason why writing and literature falls into the category of THE HUMANITIES. 

But this also becomes difficult because it DOES fall into the category of THE HUMANITIES and writing DOES deal with raw emotions. We start to care about what we put on that page. We start to care about what others think about what we write. We worry about not being good enough. 

I ask a lot of writers how they feel about sharing their work with others and many openly admit they never like to share their work with anyone until it is 100% perfect in their own eyes. This is far too much pressure to put on anyone. Can we ever be perfect? Can we ever get that sentence just right? Can we ever please every reader out there? The answer is no. And yet, as writers, we cannot seem to wrap our heads around it and we still try to push ourselves to try and achieve it. 

And to what end? 

We mentally push ourselves to the extreme? Writers will lock themselves away in their rooms, headphones on and turn off the their families and work for hours maybe accomplishing very little with their writing, only to come out an emotional wreck. I am reminded of a character of a show I recently watched that I totally loved - Etoile. One of the characters was this much of a perfectionist. Tobias Bell.

While there were other issues at play here, he was an emotional wreck. 

When writers get like this, that mental fatigue leads to physical and social issues as well. It doesn't take much research out there to see the links between these which I know all of you have seen. 

But now, let's add in one more part of the equation. What happens when you become a professional writer and we put in deadlines:

• Proposal to editor by set date - which must be correct and approved
• Draft to editor by set date - which must be correct and approved
• New idea in the works while waiting for edits from editor
• Edits from editor and now on to revisions which have to be back by a certain day - which must be correct and approved
• New idea for next book AND Edits for the last book to editor back - which have to be correct and approved
• Art and Business departments need feedback on cover designs, dedication pages and author notes.
• Market on your part has to be going.
• You are still writing, correct?
• You did remember to go to your real job?
• Did you feed the dogs?
• You do have a family, right?
• Did you do the laundry?
• Did you turn off the stove when you went to the grocery?

And then maybe a review comes in and it is not that good. Or now you worry that if the sales numbers are not there, will you get that next contract because, remember, each contract is based on how well you did on the prior contract? 

You want to talk to someone, but no one would understand what you are going through. Your spouse or significant other would never know because he or she is not a writer. So you try to do this on your own. 

Look back on Anil's comment again... they didn't know how to rest, self regulate or ask for help.

Writers need to know how to find time to just step away. There IS time. Weeks? Maybe not. Time for a walk? Time for a stroll with the dogs or a cup of tea next to a fountain? YES! Can you ask for help? Yes. Remember your critique groups? Remember your editors and agents? Talk to them. Remember your family? Talk to them. They may not be able to help with the writing, but they can cook a dinner, they can bring you a snack, they can just listen. 

Day 3 (Motivation) - Best in Studio Means Noting In The Real World

Being the best in the studio means nothing in the real world. Once you're out there, everyone is strong. Everyone is flexible. What makes you different? How you show up. How you recover. How you adapt. How you tell stories through your dancing. ~ Akay Anil

I really love this thought because it really comes down to a competition level and how we spend too much time trying to be the best, to be better than the other person, to be one step ahead of someone else. Now, don't get me wrong. I am someone who believes that there is something to be said about competition. It does push people. But if that is all we think about, then it tends to make us have a misguided perception of the world and even of ourself.

In the end, as writers, we are all the same. When you sit down at your computer, or you sit down with your legal pad and your pen and paper, you need to know that around the world, there are thousands of others who are doing the exact same thing. 

Every author out there, whether they are new to storytelling, or they have been writing for years, or have been published by a major press, or have self-published or are still trying to find that first contract still struggle with the same things. They all look to figure out what their characters are doing. They look to find the right word and the right phrase to convey the right mood or feeling. 

Your job, is to bring your own voice to the table. Quit trying to be a copy of someone else. Be yourself. As Anil notes in her comment, show that flexibility but show what makes you different and show who you are when you come into the room.

Does this mean to be so completely different and "weird" that people just stare at you? No. But you should be that person that people "see" you in the group.

I am reminded of two authors in particular I saw at conferences. Both just stood out because of "how they showed up." These were working conferences and, as always, I am someone who "people watches." Both of these authors came into rooms and they just stood out as being different. They moved in the room as being professional. They dressed professional. They carried themselves with confidence. They were not cocky or arrogant. You could see they were new authors, but they stood out. I was fortunate to have both pitch to me. Both had projects that were great, but what really stood out was how the demonstrated that they were different and they could tell their stories through how they presented themselves in their pitches. 

So, what can you do to stand out?

Day 2 (Motivation) Your Technique Won't Save You If You're Not Coachable

Beautiful lines won't matter if you can't take correction. adapt quickly and listen. adapt quickly, and listen. Directors want dancers they can trust - not ones who need to be convinced. ~ Acay Anil

We talked about this yesterday when we talked about learning. This is also about mindset but also about being open. 

There is nothing wrong with having opinions. We love having opinions. We love having thoughts. But there are times when it is important to just be quiet and listen. 

This line from HAMLITON is so right on the money. If an editor or an agent has to spend time trying to convince you that a chance in your story is necessary, what is that telling them about you? Are you someone that they will want to work with in the future?

I have overheard authors at conferences talk about agents and editors who they have left, but when they continue talking, you realize, the issue was not with the agent or the editor, it was with the fact that the writer was the individual being difficult. The author was not the person being "part" of the team and "part" of the conversation. 

Being in business or society means interacting with other people. It requires considering where other people are coming from and sometimes listening. Remember, you as an author went to that agent because that person was the expert who, a you said "knew the system and knew how to guide you in your career." So listen. Remember, it is the editor, who has gotten other people to that coveted list that you are trying so hard to get to telling you what to do to get there. So why are you telling them now you know better? 

Day 1 (Motivation) Talent Is Overrated

It might get you noticed, but it won't get you hired - or keep you hired. What matters more: how consistently you show up, how you take feedback, and you carry yourself in the room. Your energy often speaks louder than your steps. Talent gets applause. Work ethic builds a career. ~ Ayca Anil

But Scott, wait a minute, isn't it the talent that gets us the contract? Isn't it what the editors and agents first when they are looking at those submissions?

Well, sort of... But that is not what we are talking about here.

If you really focus on what Anil is talking about here, it is about consistency and presence. It is about work ethic. Sure, we will read about those authors who come out of no where, make it big and then what happens? They disappear. They become a nobody. Why does that happen? They seem to think that now that they have made it, they feel that they have the talent and they are so good, they don't need to do any more than to live on that talent. Oh how wrong they are!

Just because your first book sells does not mean there is not room to learn. Someone can always give us a new insight into what we are doing, but we have to be open to just listen and consider what that person has to say? We also have to be open to take that feedback. We cannot slam the door on someone who gives us feedback because we don't like them, or because it hurts our feelings. In fact, Ayca's post on social media actually starts off with the comment, "Dance Career Advice I'd Give you If I Wasn't Afraid of Hurting Your Feelings." Sorry, but "Suck it up, Buttercup." It is time to learn and listen to what other people have to say."

It is also about how you show up in public. Again, too often I have seen authors, who have once they have gotten that "first big contract" suddenly become a DIVA, and refuse to talk to "those below them." They seem to have forgotten that just days below, they were one of those underlings. Regardless of your talent, regardless of whether you are on the NY Times Best Sellers List or you are just selling a lot of books with a smaller line, you still have the same number of legs and the same number of arms as those who still are trying to trying to get there. Be humble. Be nice. Come in with an energy that says, I am here to learn with you and I am also here to help you get to where you want to want to be.

Sure, some people will get those standing ovations, but you can sit there and, in your heart know, you are doing great work and being a great person.