Alpha Males Don't Have To Be Abusive

In the last three books I have read, I have seen a disturbing trend in the way the heroes in the book have been depicted. In all three, these men have been described as "alpha males". These are men who know what they want and know what it takes to get it. While this might seem like a trait we want to see in our heroes for romance novels, I am wondering if we have somehow blurred the edges a bit

and taken it too far to the extreme.

I turned to the Urban Dictionary today for a definition of alpha males:

The term 'Alpha Male' can be defined in both a classical and modern sense. The classical definition derives from the animal kingdom and represents a physical form of dominance over other males. The alpha male lion, for example, claims sexual rights to all females, fights off other male lions to enforce it, eats first after every hunt and dominates a vast territory of land for hunting rights.

In a modern/human sense, younger males (teens, early 20s) will subscribe to the classical form. Like a lion, they will often be the strongest, most intimidating, hit on all of the women beta makes want, are usually the first to have new sexual experiences and often dominate a set territory in their 'hunt' for new women, such as local nightclub scenes. 

Older alpha males, however, will evolve the classical traits of strength, intimidation and dominance beyond the physical by gaining power over men through their very means of living and professional reputation. A powerful business executive, for example, will hire, promote, demote and fire others according to how well they serve his own interests. Rock stars, famous actors and other individuals of 'power' hold very similar capabilities over others in their respective professions.

Younger alpha males who cannot mature into the modern form will usually cling to the classical form of alpha-maleness for as long as possible.

While there is something to be said with this definition, that these men know what they want and will get what they want, I fear that this depiction could be sending the wrong message to the readers, especially in the romance and women's fiction genres (I am including here YA romance and more importantly New Adult). Look at the last part of this definition...

Older alpha males, however, will evolve the classical traits of strength, intimidation and dominance beyond the physical by gaining power over men through their very means of living and professional reputation. A powerful business executive, for example, will hire, promote, demote and fire others according to how well they serve his own interests. 

In simple terms, the classic traits of strength have turned into something worse.

As I said, the last three books have been a bit disturbing. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that stories have to be prudish in nature, but these last books have pushed the barrier a bit too far, in my humble opinion. In each of these books, the men would tell the women what they wanted. They would demand the women act and behave in a specific way. What was worse, is that the authors depicted the women in the story as accepting it, and in some cases, asking for the abuse.

Sure, the authors were trying to use this to increase the "sexual experience" and giving the readers a chance to experience BDSM scenes in, what I am sure the authors would consider a "safe environment" since it is "only in a story", but again, the question has to be asked, what message is this really sending?

Consider these numbers:

In an article by Roni Caryn Rabin in the New York Times in December of 2011, "Nearly one in five women surveyed said they had been raped or had experienced an attempted rape at some point, and one in four reported having been beaten by an intimate partner. One in six women have been stalked, according to the report." She goes on to note, "By that definition, 1 percent of women surveyed reported being raped in the previous year, a figure that suggests that 1.3 million American women annually may be victims of rape or attempted rape.... That figure is significantly higher than previous estimates. The Department of Justice estimated that 188,380 Americans were victims of sexual violence last year. Only 84,767 assaults defined as forcible rapes were reported in 2010, according to national statistics from the Federal Bureau of Investigation."

These are significant numbers that cannot be ignored. I do understand that throwing the word of "rape" into the mix might seem a bit harsh, but for many of these women, what started as simply a "dominant male" turned into something more sinister.

But this goes beyond simply the sexual displays we are seeing in these books. The "alpha males" in these books, who, again, "know what they want and know how to get it" are potentially moving into the realm of emotional abuse. "In the 2012 ABS Personal Safety Survey (PSS) and this article, emotional abuse is defined as abuse that occurs when a person is subjected to behaviors or actions (often repeatedly) aimed at preventing or controlling their behavior, with the intent to cause them emotional harm or fear through manipulation, isolation or intimidation."

While these authors might write these stories with the intent of showing a man who is strong and confident, we have to be careful to not push that trait to the extreme. This is especially important when we look at the plots and the themes we are seeing in many of the New Adult novels today. We are seeing authors who have their young heroines meeting up and connecting with these "older alpha males" and building a supposed relationship. In the query letters I read, these women (or maybe we should say young girls" are first "fascinated and intrigued" by this powerful man, and then "magnetically drawn into his world." These descriptions certainly do have a powerful feel to them, and yet, maybe it is indeed sending a false message. 

In an Australian study done earlier this year, "Of those who had experienced emotional abuse by their current partner, over a third (37%) of women ...had also experienced physical and/or sexual abuse before the age of 15."

Please understand that I am not saying tone things down. As I said in the beginning, I am not wanting to sound like a prude here, but maybe authors need to stop and consider what they are writing. I do think this is especially important for our female authors (and yes editors and agents) who I am sure would be some of the strongest advocates for female rights and protecting this population. When the publishing world promotes books such as this, we have to question if this is just a way to say physical, emotional and sexual abuse of women is justifiable for a "good sale"? I personally don't think that is the case.

At Greyhaus, I will continue to reject stories that promote this type of behavior. Strong heroes are fine. Powerful men are fine. But when authors write stories that push it too far, then expect that rejection letter from me.