What Does Your Query Letter Really Say?

I spent this last weekend reading a lot of query letters, and, unfortunately, most of those query letters did very little to advance the cause for the writer. Translation? They ended in a rejection!

I get it. Query letters are tough to write! This letter has to sell you and your project, while at the same time, keeping it nice, short and to the point. The problem is that in many of the letters I see, the authors have left out so much to really sell the project, and then replaced it with information that shows us too much of nothing.

Let me first start by saying that what goes into a query letter is the exact same material that goes into a cover letter for a resume when you apply for a job anywhere. These HR departments want to not only see a "letter of introduction" they also want an executive summary of all of the material and work you would demonstrate in the resume, while at the same time, keeping it short. Let me show you an example from a local college.

Upload (attach) a cover letter that addresses how you meet the required  qualifications as outlined in this announcement. At [insert school], we value culturally responsive and compassionate individuals who bridge diverse backgrounds and perspectives in support of academic equity and excellence. In your cover letter, please address how you will support the mission of [insert school] to create quality educational opportunities for a diverse community of learners to thrive in an evolving world. Please include in your response how your previous education and/or professional experience contribute to your effectiveness in promoting a climate of student success for a diverse community of learners. 

Look at what these people want. At some level, this is insane in a short letter.

First they expect you to address the required qualifications. They don't just want a list, but they would also love to see (although not stated) the outcomes. Here is the list.

• Bachelor's degree in Business or Office Management, Communications, Non-profit Management, Fundraising, a related field OR a combination of equivalent educational and professional experience.
• Minimum of three (3) years' experience in fundraising, donor or alumni relations or a related communications position.
• Excellent social skills, with individuals and large groups.
• Experience writing and overseeing quality communications material.
• Demonstrated mastery of Microsoft Office Suite software as well as the ability to learn new software easily.
• Experience using web outreach and social media to develop and strengthen connections.
• Experience using databases to manage contact information and activities.
• Demonstrated ability to work in a fast pace, multi-tasking environment with great attention to detail.
• Experience using Excel spreadsheets to develop budget and other reports as needed.
• Experience interpreting data and budgets, and the ability to present the results.
• Outstanding written and verbal communications skills.
• Ability to motivate and work with volunteers and staff under pressure.
• Ability to organize with a high level of attention to detail, perform outcomes driven work with sound judgment in setting priorities with multiple deadlines.

But then add in all of the underlined information. Again, don't just list but show outcomes. 

And now, make sure to also include other information in your resume that you want to prove as beneficial.

Now, here is the positive part! Query letters are easier, but you still have to keep that same focus.

In your query letter, we want to see three basic things:

1. Information about the book and why you are contacting us.
2. The basics about the plot, characters and conflict
3. Your writing career (past and future)

When we discuss information about the book, we want title, genre and word count. We want to know why you have selected us and in 1-2 sentences, how your story fits what we are looking for in a great book. Please note, we are not saying that you wrote a romantic suspense and we acquire romantic suspense. We are talking about what characteristics of your book/voice match what we are looking for in a great book.

When it comes to the plot, think back cover blurb but not so much of a tease. We have to know setting, the general premise, who the characters are and what the conflict is in the story. Give us a bit of a feel as to how this will wind up in the end. Leave out all of those secondary characters, back story and the moment when "sparks flew when they kissed." Think Dragnet here: "Just the facts, mam."

Finally, we need to know about your writing career. If this is your first book, that's fine. Where is your writing going. This is really where a lot of people screw it up. I don't want to hear that it took you 12 years to write this 50,000 word manuscript. I don't want to hear that you are afraid. I don't want to hear about your cats. I want to know about your writing (and please, DO NOT embellish with overstatements).

I want to now go back to the title of this blog. What does the letter really say? Go back and read it. Assume this is the first time you have ever seen this letter. You don't know this person. You have never met this person. You have no idea what their writing is like. Now ask yourself:

• Do you have enough to make a decision if you want to read more? No you don't get to ask for more information because you don't get it.
• Do you have a full sense of the story?
• Do you have a clear sense that this person knows what his or her genre really is?
• Do you have a clear sense that this person has a clear vision for their writing?
• Does this person appear professional?
• And most importantly... would you hire you, based on this letter.

If you aren't getting the results of what you want, maybe it is time to go back and review your first impression you are making.