Day 10- (Motivation) Your Dance Career Is Not Your Worth

You are not just a casting choice, a final pose or a performance reel. You are someone before the role, during the rehearsal, and after the curtain closes. You are allowed to be full - even when the stage is empty. ~Ayca Anil

Being a professional writer is going to be just another hat you wear during the day. You will likely have another job. You may also have a role in a community group or a church. You may be a committee member or a little league coach. You may be a mother or a father or a spouse of a significant other. You may simply be a friend of a friend who is always at your side. These are all hats that take a bit out of you. These are all hats that demand something of you and take a bit of your soul and your energy. 

You play a lot of different roles every day. And some days we forget that there is one role that is more important than all of those other roles. That is the role of YOU! It is OK to tell people that it is your time and not their time.

I had the opportunity to work with a group called Natural Helpers in my early days of teaching. One of the first lessons the students were taught is to say "No." It was a tough lesson. You see, the role of a Natural Helper in schools was to work with students who might be on the verge of being in crisis. Students were there to listen, maybe provide advice or guidance, but mostly, to be there. But, the biggest lesson was to know when to realize that if the situation was too much, to say "No" and walk away. They were told that their personal space and their feelings were more important at that time. 

Make sure to find the time for yourself. Make sure that if and when you "really make it" (and I hope all of you do) and people beg to get your autograph and line up for hours to get your photo, that you can stop and say, I need some me time. 

Day 9 - (Motivation) Train Your Nervous System As Much As Your Pirouettes

When your body feels safe, if performs better. Your balance improve, your lines open and your mind stays clear. You need: breath-work, mobility, fascia release. They're not a luxury - they're the missing link. Ayca Anil

We are talking about stress again here today and no, we are not talking about your dance routines. If you are like me, you might end up hurting your hamstring or something else.

Now that is in your head, let's get serious for a bit.

We have talked a lot about the stress with writing and publishing. It is up to you to make sure that when it is time to write and work, you are in the mood to write and you are in the right space to work. When Anil talks about training the nervous system, she is talking about training the body to make sure the body is "wired" to function properly to dance. To make sure the "electrical" system is working properly so that your breathing is correct, so that the fascia (the connective tissue that surrounds and supports muscles, bones nerves, blood vessels, and organs throughout the body), are all relaxed enough so that you can think clearly. 

You might think this is impossible. How can I do that with my life going on around me? You are right. It is tough. Life does get in the way. In fact, as I was writing this, I thought it was quiet around the house but my daughter was heading out to work, my son came home from swimming and the dentist, the laundry was going and some solicitor came up to the door and fortunately I got there before she decide to knock on the door and send my 6 year old American Coon Hound into a complete psycho-frenzy-fit. Stress level? I think not.

But you can:

• Find the time of day that works best for you
• Make sure your desk is clear of clutter
• Invest in the right chair and desk
• Music and lighting is important
• Have your snacks and drinks available

And when you feel the stress pick up...

• Stand and stretch
• Move around
• Look outside
• Pet the dog and reward him or her for being so good
• Go dance like Chris Farley (I recommend with the windows shut)

Day 8 - (Motivation) Protect Your Energy. Stay In Your Lane

There will be competition. The might be jealousy. But your job isn't to prove, perform or people please. Your job is to grow, To stay kind. To keep showing up for your path - not theirs. Making people like you? Not your responsibility? Your energy is to sacred to waste on comparison. ~Ayca Anil

Oh I can guarantee, that jealousy monster will try to sneak into your head all of the time. You will be out there trying to prove to people you are better than they are. Your story has better characters. Your cover is better. Your sales are better. Your workshop has better content. And it is hard not to do so. With lists showing up on a regular basis from the New York Times and USA Today Best Sellers List or the Amazon or Barnes and Nobel Lists in your daily feed or even how many stars and reviews you have compared to someone else, competition and the need to "one-up" someone will always be there. 

But is it worth it?

Is that energy and all of that mental and emotional stress getting you anywhere? All that it is doing is sapping your energy that could be better spent making you a better person and a better writer. Think about it. If you are getting up each morning and diving on social media to see what everyone else is doing, checking on the reviews of all the other authors. See who else made the list that you wanted to be on, what are you then going to do? You are likely going to sit around and complain for the next hour or so. You will be "in your head" with negative self-talk about how much of a bad writer you are, and "see I knew I wasn't that good" or "why can't I get what they have?"

Let me tell you a little secret though. What those editors and agents really want is someone who shows up to work every day. They want the person they can count on. They know who you are and you know what else? They are looking out for you. They are protecting you.

One author of mine, at the time of writing this post is in the middle of a ten book contract. That's right, ten books! Now here is the things. She got that contract because she showed up and stayed in her lane. She doesn't complain and she doesn't argue. Now, if there is an issue, will she address it with her editor, sure. But, she is nice about it. She is also getting additional projects when they need those projects, she gets the great time slots for release dates. Again, she stays in her lane.

Intentionally going out there to "make people like you" does not come across as real. People see right through you. Oh, they will take those doughnuts and treats to the office to get people to like you, but they are there for the doughnuts and not for you. 

Use your energy for you. Be nice. Be kind. Be yourself. Trust me. It works. 

Day 7 - (Motivation) Think About What Comes After Dance...

Think about what comes after dance and start now. Dance careers end earlier than we expect - and most of us aren't prepared. So when the curtain closes... we freeze. Invest in your future. Start building something beyond the stage: a second skill, an education, a path forward. ~ Ayca Anil

This is not so much talking about what happens when no one wants to buy your books, or when your editor says your career is over. This is about forward thinking. 

When I talk to authors before signing them to Greyhaus Literary Agency, one of the questions I often ask them is where they see themselves in the future. This is a standard question we often hear at most interviews. It is a question that really tells us a lot. Are you thinking ahead or are you just thinking about the present? 

Forward thinking is not about deciding that you are writing a three book series about three brothers and you are already planting seeds for book 2 and 3 in the first book. Forward thinking is just making sure that you are just "ahead of the game." Are you ready in case the market shifts? Are you ready if an editor says, I need something sooner than later?

Let me give you an example. 

One of my first authors was pitching to an editor at a conference. I had met with the editor earlier at the conference and talked about her and the editor was interested to talking to her. We had not planned on the author actually pitching because she was not finished with the story. BTW, you should NEVER pitch to an editor or agent if your story is not finished. So, the author met with the editor and she loved the idea. Fortunately, the author had been a 4 time National Impromptu and Extemporaneous Speaker and Debater in college so she was good to go. The editor loved the idea and wanted to see the manuscript. But then she also asked about other books. Was this a series? At which point, (fortunately) the author had been a forward thinker and had already thought about other ideas. These were not ideas for a series but she was able to make the books sound like it, so she pitched the ideas. The editor loved it. 

I met with the author an hour later. Her comment was "I am heading to the hotel room and writing." I have to finish the book. She wants to see the rough draft of book 1 and a rough synopsis of book 2 and 3 in about 2 weeks. 

Now that is forward thinking. 

If you notice though, Anil also talks about having that second skill? What if the market shifts? Can you shift with the market? If all you know how to do, for example, is write Romantic Comedies, and those are now out of fashion, what are you going to do? Can you shift? If not, your career may be over? I always like to remind people of artists like Madonna. If you think about her career? 

She could adapt. Can you?