Transitions Between Chapters - Not Just "Insert Page Break"

The goal of an author is to get that reader hooked as soon as possible and keep them reading. Our goal with our stories is to get those readers to the point they simply don't want to put the book down. It is that sense of saying "Just one more page." I recall a friend of ours who got hooked on the OUTLANDER series when it first came out. She was so hooked, her daughter actually hid the book from her so she could have some time with her mom. Now, in this case, it was not an issue that her mom thought Jamie and Claire were totally hot together (which I know many of you will argue). What worked was the pacing. What worked was the ability of Diana Gabaldon to keep you moving through the book.

The biggest place where this is going to occur will be the transitions you put in that connect each of your chapters together. Some writers misapply the concept of the "cliff hanger" to these transitions. While we are going to use an element of this, there is so much more to it.

If you think of a transition, I always like to use the concept of a train. To keep the trains connected together, the builders of the train add in what is known as a coupler. In simple terms, it is a piece that
connects to each of the cars. That piece connects with the other coupler, and viola, the cars are connected. We will use the same concept when it comes to writing.

At the end of a chapter (or even a scene if you are shifting within a chapter) you want to bring that scene to a close. Maybe not a full conclusion, but the message, theme or task you had going on in that chapter needs to be somewhat resolved. Maybe the goal of the chapter was for the hero to find out that it was his best friend who was causing all of the problems in the company. When we move to the next chapter, we have to see a "connection" to that learning and now on to the next layer of the story. We are essentially saying, "Now what?"

The author has a choice here. The transition/bridge, can occur either at the end of the previous chapter, or at the start of the next chapter. The idea is to simply show the reader what the actual connection might be.

Let's say we put it at the end of the chapter. Once our hero finds out it is his best friend, we add in the connection of the fact that not only was it his best friend, but it was also the girl he was getting ready to propose to that evening. Now what?

We now start into the next chapter with the heroine getting ready for dinner making a simple comment of "Today was perfect and tonight would be even better. Nothing was going to ruin this great dinner with her boyfriend." For the readers, they know and see what that problem is going to be. We are now engaged enough to want to read more. "How will they work through this situation?"

I think right now, I am seeing far too many authors with chapter or scene breaks for simply practical purposes. My chapter hit a page count so it is a time to shift. I need to get to a new point of view, so I just shift. The end result is often a story that doesn't flow, or one that feels very episodic to the reader.

Take the time to really examine those transitions this week. You might find your stories will flow much better with something as simple as re-working those starts and endings to your chapters.

The Fluency Of A Story Can Ruin Everything

I know I am not the only agent who has experienced this, and yes, I know editors too have had this happen to them. We get these amazing pitches or read these fantastic queries and we start drooling like Pavlov's dog. "This is it," we scream and we wait for the story to show up. When it does, we move it to the top of our pile and dive in...

...only to be disappointed.

...the writing was flat.

The issue we see is really something a writer can fix and it all comes down to a basic concept of fluency.

According to the textbook definition of the word from a quick search on "THE FREE DICTIONARY" (I didn't want to open up my OED this AM so work with me here!),
          1.

a. Able to express oneself readily and effortlessly: a fluent speaker; fluent in three languages.

b. Flowing effortlessly; polished: speaks fluent Russian; gave a fluent performance of the sonata.

2. Flowing or moving smoothly; graceful: a yacht with long, fluent curves.

3. Flowing or capable of flowing; fluid

In other words, we get a sense of movement. In this case, we aren't talking about the plot of the story, but how well the words flow off of the page. Too often, writers are so focused on this amazingly complex plot they have, or these great lines they want to say, that they fail to think about how the words sound coming off of the page.

Let's talk about the common two issues of fluency.

WORDINESS- I see the issue with this first one more often in those query letters. You have been told time and time again to keep it short. So, in an effort to "reduce the word count", although I think you are just looking at paragraph or sentence numbers, you attempt to put everything into one sentence. Not only do we run into issues of "run-on's", "comma-splices" and certainly the improper use of a semi-colon, you end up with sentences that are far too confusing and vague.

Grammatically, when we think of a sentence, there needs to be a subject and a predicate. We can add in numerous "dependent clauses" to add depth and clarification as well. But, when we add too many of these, the reader can get confused, forgetting what the actual subject is.

This wordiness can also stem from sentence structures that are far too complicated for the situation. This often involves making some changes by moving from a passive to an active voice, moving to strengthen the verb, or some other small issue.

The solution for this is easy. Stop and read it out loud. In fact, you will find that the solutions to all of the fluency issues are at a sentence level and need to be fixed orally.

If you find you are running out of air when reading the sentence, you have an issue. The solution? Tell us what you want to say. If the sky is purple then just say the sky is purple. There is nothing wrong with keeping it simple.

COMMON SENTENCE STRUCTURE -  In this case, we often find sentences that are simply beginning with the same opening words, or maintain the exact same structure over and over again. Let me try this for you. Work with me on this one, I have only had one cup of coffee this AM.

Stacy knew that the story she was about to read was good. She sat down at her favorite editorial desk to read the submission. She started into the first page and felt the words sink in. She completely forgot about her favorite cookies sitting on her desk. She didn't even hear her phone ring when Susan, the other editor editor called. She loved this story. She knew she would call Scott and buy it from him right there and then. (heee, heee, this was for a new submission I just sent out).

The point is, you can see the issue of fluency here. Because we keep repeating the word she, and for the most part, each of the sentences all have the same structure with very little variation or addition of those dependent clauses to add depth.

In this case, again, I would recommend reading it out loud. With this issue, however, you would want to start combining ideas and sentences together.

The point of all this is simple. You can have the best story idea ever, but if you forget that reading is for entertainment, and the story doesn't do that, you just wasted a lot of time and energy.

Time to start looking at that sentence level fluency today!

Creating Fluency and Preventing Episodic Writing

I have heard a lot of writers receive feedback from editors and agents (generally associated with a rejection letter) stating the writing felt a bit episodic. In many of these situations, I do believe that the issue is not so much a case of episodic writing, but more of a lack of fluency between scenes and chapters. Fortunately, creating a story with great fluency is something that can be easily fixed.

Let me first talk about cases of episodic writing and get that part out of the way.

Cheryl Wyatt, on her blog had a great post talking about a definition of episodic writing. This definition, came from Melissa Endlich of Harlequin. Cheryl writes: She said (paraphrasing) episodic writing is when one scene happens then another and another and so on but there is really no point to the scenes. They end up trumping the overall story arc but do nothing to move the plot forward. I love this definition on several levels. The first is that it really does highlight the true essence of episodic writing, especially the phrase "one scene happens then another and another." I always see this as many of those TV series we watch. In these cases, there are many that we really don't need to see the shows in order because each of the episodes is 100% self-contained and there is no connection, other than the characters or the setting that ties everything together.

But this definition really blends into the idea of creating fluency in your writing. It is here where I want to connect with the phrase "but there is reallyy no point to the scenes." It is this part that we have to work with to create that sense of fluency between your scenes and the chapters.

If you think of each of your scenes as building blocks for the story arc, you will start to grasp this idea. Although the story arc is a continuous line that is constantly moving, each of the scenes are simply steps and benchmarks that the chararacters have to go through to get to that final conclusion. We can only move to the next step once the task in the prior part of the story is wrapped up.

Bronwyn Scott, one of the Greyhaus authors does just this when she drafts out where each of her stories are going to. She may not have the scene and the action figured out, but she does establish for herself what "has to happen" in this scene. We were working with a story just recently and she noted that "I know in Chapter 14 the hero has to finally see the heroine as something much more important in his life." That is the goal of the chapter and what Melissa was referring to in her definition.

To create the fluency now, let me tap into something I talk about when working with academic writing. If we think of transitions as a formula, I think you can see what I mean.

¶1 + ¶2 + TW/P = Transition

 

To create that bridge between the scenes think of this formula. This can be done in a single sentence or a larger paragraph or two. This can also happen at the end of one section or the beginning of the next one. Let the writing guide you to the right placement. In essence, you mention a piece of what happened in the prior scene and what whas accomplished, add in what the goal is of the next scene, plus a great transition phrase or word, and you have that transition. For example.

 

[end of prior chapter] "...as Caroline sat wrapped in the arms of Devon she suddenly realized that she was finally happy, but as she thought about that happiness, she was now reminded that everything was to end tomorrow when Devon had to return to his own family."

[start of next chapter] Devon walked away from the house knowing that the one person he cared about was sound asleep but when she awoke, she would feel as alone as he now felt standing on the empty train platform. He had to find a way back..."

 

The transition here happens both at the end of one chapter and the beginning of the next. We get a sense that Caroline and Devon have reached a new point in their relationship. This is probably somehting they have been working on for numerous chapters now. But we also get a sense of what is to come and the next challenge that each of them has to face and overcome. Even when we shift to Devon's POV there is that same connection and transition.

 

If this became something that sounded more episodic, the writer would likely have simply ended the prior chapter with, as Caroline sat wrapped in the arms of Devon she suddenly realized that she was finally happy and then moved on with Devon at the trainstation thinking about the work ahead of him and his own family. Without that mention of the prior scene, the readers would feel a huge bump in the writing and that fluency simply wouldn't be there.

 

So, your goal is simple. Examine your scenes/chapters. What is it you want your characters to achieve or your plot to accomplish? Then think about how that next scene/chapter is connected and make the bridge clear to the reader. If you can do this, you will be one step closer to a fluent writing style.

 

Forced Writing - It Needs To Flow Off The Page

Too often, I find myself writing a rejection letter that states the writing was too forced and didn't flow off the page enough. The end result is that I am simply not drawn to the characters and their situations. For any of you who have received this comment, please understand this is not a form letter but really the best way to say what was happening.

I honestly believe that writers are often too hung up on finding a great premise and story idea, or they spend so much time developing the K-A heroine or totally hot hero and they forget the writing. These characters are literally trapped within the pages of the story and can never escape if the writing is not working for the reader. Now this might not be the only reason. There are obviously a ton of other potential reasons why the characters are trapped, but more often than not, it is the writing.

In many ways, this type of writing reminds me of Michaelangelo's "Prisoner" sculptures in the Academia in Florence. The carvings depict characters struggling with all of their might to tear away at the stone and escape. I love it! But not in writing.

As a writer, this is where grammar knowledge comes into play. The use of paragraphing, complex sentence structures, independent and dependent clauses, and certainly the punctuation marks, will control how the writing comes off the pages. And yes, if you are not understanding this information and rely heavily on grammar checkers, this is something you will want to master, or at least get a to a functional level if you want to write professionally. If you spend so much time "wordsmithing" the story, there is a good chance you are messing a lot of this up.

Reading your story out-loud is one potential way of identifying key problems. Now, please note, when you do this, it is crucial that you have someone else read it to you and not you reading it to yourself. The latter will result in what literacy specialists call "reading miscues." Your brain simply doesn't like making mistakes so it will change words and make edits, even if it is not on the page.

If you find that you are stumbling over adjectives and adverbs (which by the way are not bad, just misused), or you find you run are running out of oxygen on those longer paragraphs, you might have a problem. Let's deal with the adjectives and adverbs for a second. Yes, there are writers out there who tell you to leave them out. I am sorry to say it, but these writers are recommending it because they probably are unclear how to use them effectively (yes I know this is a stereotype but it gets my truly excellent point across). The problem writers have with the adjectives and adverbs is they simply force these little beauties on words and phrases that don't need them. Hey, telling me the spaghetti was savory is repetitious. It's obviously not sweet. And then adding it to delectable and piping hot is too much. In other words, "She licked her luscious red lips still tender from his passionate kiss, savoring the savory and delectable piping hot bowl of angel hair pasta in a light Tuscan marinara sauce..." is way too much. No, I will not get into the issues of why someone would use angel air with marinara, or the fact that she should be doing something other than eating, I want to simply show you a truly awkward sentence.

In this case, the author is simply trying to do too much with those internal clauses and an over-use of adjectives. What she is simply trying to say is there was a great kiss and great pasta. The rest is far from necessary and makes the reading forced and lacking in fluency.

As an agent, this is part of the reason I don't need to ask for a lot of a manuscript in the early query process. If you have the writing issues in the first chapters, the ones you really go over a lot, then the odds are the rest is going to struggle as well.

Homework today? Go work on fluency. As for me, I am off to edit some writing.

Scott