Some Inspiration For A Friday

As I was scrolling through my social media posts, I stumbled across a message from one of my fellow classmates from high school. Amy Weaver, CEO of Direct Relief was just mentioned in an article for Forbes magazine. Amy is truly an inspiration but I wanted to share her thoughts (you can read the full article here if you wish. FORBES ARTICLE

“Don’t cling too hard to the career path you think you should follow, or focus only on the next logical step up the ladder. Embrace the jumps to the side. You may feel like you are zigzagging, but with each non-linear move, you will gain new skills, meet new people, and collect experiences – these will be your building blocks. When I think about the most pivotal moments in my own career, not one of them was a straightforward promotion or an obvious next step. Each transition was either a lateral move to a new field or location or sometimes even a step backward to create a longer runway. And now as I look back, it feels like I’ve been climbing in a straight line to exactly where I am meant to be.”

As I read her thoughts, I reflected on what it takes to be successful in the publishing industry. I do believe, too often, that many authors are ruining their chances for success in publishing by not really thinking through all of their decisions. 

Amy stresses that we should "embrace the jumps to the side.:" Wow, this is so true. Honestly, you cannot predict what is going to happen in this industry. There will be a lot of "zigzagging" as Amy notes and authors have to go with the flow. You will change editors. Your publishing line may collapse and merge into a new line. Your publisher may go out of business (we hope that is not the case, but it has happened), but as Amy notes, "you will gain new skills, meet new people and collect experiences - these will be your building blocks."

Unfortunately, as I noted, many authors have ruined their success in this business by not appreciating these learning moments. Instead, they hold on to these supposed negative shifts away from the plan THEY wanted to follow. Holding on to these feelings and emotions simply ruins that creative side of your writing you worked so hard to achieve.

I honestly wish I could say everything will go the way you want it to in this business. Heck, I wish everything can go the way you want in everything you do. But I cannot promise that. What I can say, is that everything that occurs in your writing career will be a learning moment. Your job is look at each event in your career, examine what you learned, and use it in your next step in your career!

Day 12- (Motivation) Cross Train Aways

This is how to protect joins, extend your career, and get stronger without breaking yourself. Fascia mobility, functional strength, pilates, breath-work and recovery are not optional anymore. They're your safety net. This is how you jump higher, turn sharper, extend further - and avoid preventable injuries. ~Ayca Anil

When it comes to your writing, it is always best to stick to one genre and learn to do it well. So, as you read this, you might think I am going to argue cross training means to go out and write in a variety of genres and I will say right now, the answer is no. I am still a firm believer is sticking to a plan. Yes, you can certainly branch out once you have truly mastered an area which many writers do, but master one before you move on. So then, what do we mean by cross training?

We can learn a lot from studying other genres and other disciplines, even if we do not write in those genres. Keeping your mind open to those other disciplines may give you insights into your own personal writing. 

Consider this. There are many sub-genres in romance, inspirational romance being one of the most obvious, where sexual relationships are never shown on the page. Much of what authors believe about what "is supposed to be in a romance" is simply not there, and yet, the characters still build their relationship throughout the story. Reading a story like this, even if this is something you do not write would give you the "cross training" knowledge that you can build into your story that might strengthen the depth of your own character building. 

Cross training might also include looking at areas such as academic writing that you would believe do not belong anywhere near the creative writing spectrum.

If you really think about what we have done for the last twelve days, we have been exploring cross training by using the world of dance. When I first brought this up to you days ago, some of you might have thought I was really reaching, and yet, hopefully, you have started stretching and growing your writing and thinking in ways you have not considered before.

I want you to think about this series this way. To be a true writer (or for that matter any thing in this world, which really means to be a human), is to always find a way to grow and learn.

I teach my students something that learned in a philosophy course. I don't know if it was true or an urban myth, but I like the thought. Socrates was once told he was the smartest person in the world and he argued he couldn't be if he was always having to ask questions. So consider this example. 

If we look at this circle and everything inside of it is information we 100% know and understand. Things on the outside, BUT touch the circle are things we know of but do not understand. Things on the outside but do not touch the circle, are things we simply are not aware of. Now consider this... As we take in the things that touch the outside of the circle and bring the items into the circle, what happens to the area of the circle and what happens to the circumference of the circle?

It got larger, meaning that if the circumference got larger, it means we have more things to learn and bring into the circle. Learning never ceases and only encourages us to learn more.

I encourage you to do the same thing.

Keep on writing and growing!

Day 11 - (Motivation) Rejection is Redirection. Mistakes are Teachers

Every "no" carries wisdom. Every mistake holds a lesson. The audition you bombed. The correction you didn't want to hear - they're not failures. They're feedback. You're not behind. You're becoming. Keep learning. Keep trusting. Every detour is shaping the dancer - and human - you're meant to be. ~Ayca Anil

Rejections letters are tough to handle. I get it. I personally hate writing rejection letters. They are especially tough for an agent because when I receive them for my client, I have to deal with it first and then I get to share the rejection letter WITH the agent. A double whammy. It is tough being told no. It is tough being told that you might not be good enough. 

In recent years, more and more writers have gotten a bit hostile with rejection letters and have been writing back or taking it out on editors and agents (and even in the employers in the business world) so much that now many have taken to using the approach of not writing a rejection letter and using the policy of "No answer means no." Personally that is a shame and something for another post. For these people, they have felt that a no was a personal attack on them "as a person" instead of really listening to what the editor/agent/employer was trying to say about why they passed on the individual. 

We need to know that we learn from mistakes. We learned that the stove was hot, not from mom or dad telling us, but from us touching the stove, even after mom and dad told us. We never did it again. 

If you remember from a post earlier in this series, I mentioned the line from HAMILTON "Talk Less. Smile More." That is what we are talking about here. In fact, one recommendation for how to answer the question in interviews of how you responded to a critique from a supervisor was similar to this. "Smile, listen to what they have to say, and then follow up with what are suggestions to make this better." What a wonderful suggestion.

This is a business with a lot of no's. This is a business with a lot of people giving you critiques and feedback. Do not take it personally. Learn from it. Grow and become better. Some of it might not be enjoyable to hear but take a breath and listen. It might be tough to hear, but it may be what you need to hear to become so much stronger and so much better as a writer and as a human!

Day 10- (Motivation) Your Dance Career Is Not Your Worth

You are not just a casting choice, a final pose or a performance reel. You are someone before the role, during the rehearsal, and after the curtain closes. You are allowed to be full - even when the stage is empty. ~Ayca Anil

Being a professional writer is going to be just another hat you wear during the day. You will likely have another job. You may also have a role in a community group or a church. You may be a committee member or a little league coach. You may be a mother or a father or a spouse of a significant other. You may simply be a friend of a friend who is always at your side. These are all hats that take a bit out of you. These are all hats that demand something of you and take a bit of your soul and your energy. 

You play a lot of different roles every day. And some days we forget that there is one role that is more important than all of those other roles. That is the role of YOU! It is OK to tell people that it is your time and not their time.

I had the opportunity to work with a group called Natural Helpers in my early days of teaching. One of the first lessons the students were taught is to say "No." It was a tough lesson. You see, the role of a Natural Helper in schools was to work with students who might be on the verge of being in crisis. Students were there to listen, maybe provide advice or guidance, but mostly, to be there. But, the biggest lesson was to know when to realize that if the situation was too much, to say "No" and walk away. They were told that their personal space and their feelings were more important at that time. 

Make sure to find the time for yourself. Make sure that if and when you "really make it" (and I hope all of you do) and people beg to get your autograph and line up for hours to get your photo, that you can stop and say, I need some me time. 

Day 9 - (Motivation) Train Your Nervous System As Much As Your Pirouettes

When your body feels safe, if performs better. Your balance improve, your lines open and your mind stays clear. You need: breath-work, mobility, fascia release. They're not a luxury - they're the missing link. Ayca Anil

We are talking about stress again here today and no, we are not talking about your dance routines. If you are like me, you might end up hurting your hamstring or something else.

Now that is in your head, let's get serious for a bit.

We have talked a lot about the stress with writing and publishing. It is up to you to make sure that when it is time to write and work, you are in the mood to write and you are in the right space to work. When Anil talks about training the nervous system, she is talking about training the body to make sure the body is "wired" to function properly to dance. To make sure the "electrical" system is working properly so that your breathing is correct, so that the fascia (the connective tissue that surrounds and supports muscles, bones nerves, blood vessels, and organs throughout the body), are all relaxed enough so that you can think clearly. 

You might think this is impossible. How can I do that with my life going on around me? You are right. It is tough. Life does get in the way. In fact, as I was writing this, I thought it was quiet around the house but my daughter was heading out to work, my son came home from swimming and the dentist, the laundry was going and some solicitor came up to the door and fortunately I got there before she decide to knock on the door and send my 6 year old American Coon Hound into a complete psycho-frenzy-fit. Stress level? I think not.

But you can:

• Find the time of day that works best for you
• Make sure your desk is clear of clutter
• Invest in the right chair and desk
• Music and lighting is important
• Have your snacks and drinks available

And when you feel the stress pick up...

• Stand and stretch
• Move around
• Look outside
• Pet the dog and reward him or her for being so good
• Go dance like Chris Farley (I recommend with the windows shut)

Day 8 - (Motivation) Protect Your Energy. Stay In Your Lane

There will be competition. The might be jealousy. But your job isn't to prove, perform or people please. Your job is to grow, To stay kind. To keep showing up for your path - not theirs. Making people like you? Not your responsibility? Your energy is to sacred to waste on comparison. ~Ayca Anil

Oh I can guarantee, that jealousy monster will try to sneak into your head all of the time. You will be out there trying to prove to people you are better than they are. Your story has better characters. Your cover is better. Your sales are better. Your workshop has better content. And it is hard not to do so. With lists showing up on a regular basis from the New York Times and USA Today Best Sellers List or the Amazon or Barnes and Nobel Lists in your daily feed or even how many stars and reviews you have compared to someone else, competition and the need to "one-up" someone will always be there. 

But is it worth it?

Is that energy and all of that mental and emotional stress getting you anywhere? All that it is doing is sapping your energy that could be better spent making you a better person and a better writer. Think about it. If you are getting up each morning and diving on social media to see what everyone else is doing, checking on the reviews of all the other authors. See who else made the list that you wanted to be on, what are you then going to do? You are likely going to sit around and complain for the next hour or so. You will be "in your head" with negative self-talk about how much of a bad writer you are, and "see I knew I wasn't that good" or "why can't I get what they have?"

Let me tell you a little secret though. What those editors and agents really want is someone who shows up to work every day. They want the person they can count on. They know who you are and you know what else? They are looking out for you. They are protecting you.

One author of mine, at the time of writing this post is in the middle of a ten book contract. That's right, ten books! Now here is the things. She got that contract because she showed up and stayed in her lane. She doesn't complain and she doesn't argue. Now, if there is an issue, will she address it with her editor, sure. But, she is nice about it. She is also getting additional projects when they need those projects, she gets the great time slots for release dates. Again, she stays in her lane.

Intentionally going out there to "make people like you" does not come across as real. People see right through you. Oh, they will take those doughnuts and treats to the office to get people to like you, but they are there for the doughnuts and not for you. 

Use your energy for you. Be nice. Be kind. Be yourself. Trust me. It works. 

Day 7 - (Motivation) Think About What Comes After Dance...

Think about what comes after dance and start now. Dance careers end earlier than we expect - and most of us aren't prepared. So when the curtain closes... we freeze. Invest in your future. Start building something beyond the stage: a second skill, an education, a path forward. ~ Ayca Anil

This is not so much talking about what happens when no one wants to buy your books, or when your editor says your career is over. This is about forward thinking. 

When I talk to authors before signing them to Greyhaus Literary Agency, one of the questions I often ask them is where they see themselves in the future. This is a standard question we often hear at most interviews. It is a question that really tells us a lot. Are you thinking ahead or are you just thinking about the present? 

Forward thinking is not about deciding that you are writing a three book series about three brothers and you are already planting seeds for book 2 and 3 in the first book. Forward thinking is just making sure that you are just "ahead of the game." Are you ready in case the market shifts? Are you ready if an editor says, I need something sooner than later?

Let me give you an example. 

One of my first authors was pitching to an editor at a conference. I had met with the editor earlier at the conference and talked about her and the editor was interested to talking to her. We had not planned on the author actually pitching because she was not finished with the story. BTW, you should NEVER pitch to an editor or agent if your story is not finished. So, the author met with the editor and she loved the idea. Fortunately, the author had been a 4 time National Impromptu and Extemporaneous Speaker and Debater in college so she was good to go. The editor loved the idea and wanted to see the manuscript. But then she also asked about other books. Was this a series? At which point, (fortunately) the author had been a forward thinker and had already thought about other ideas. These were not ideas for a series but she was able to make the books sound like it, so she pitched the ideas. The editor loved it. 

I met with the author an hour later. Her comment was "I am heading to the hotel room and writing." I have to finish the book. She wants to see the rough draft of book 1 and a rough synopsis of book 2 and 3 in about 2 weeks. 

Now that is forward thinking. 

If you notice though, Anil also talks about having that second skill? What if the market shifts? Can you shift with the market? If all you know how to do, for example, is write Romantic Comedies, and those are now out of fashion, what are you going to do? Can you shift? If not, your career may be over? I always like to remind people of artists like Madonna. If you think about her career? 

She could adapt. Can you?

Day 6 - (Motivation) Don't Be Afraid To Be See Trying

Struggling doesn't make you less of a dancer. It makes you real, human, and committed. Let them see the mess. That's where the mastery comes from. Greatness is built in repetition, not applause. ~Ayca Anil

If you have ever gone to a book signing, you will fully understand what we are talking about here. Authors will sit behind their tables and smile, signing books, shaking hands, taking pictures and talking about how much fun it was to write their books. You will see the same thing when you watch or listen to programs on C-Span, PBS, or NPR as authors talk about their books. Honestly, I have never heard an author talk about struggling. Oh, they may talk about finding motivation, but for the most part, they make it sound like writing was a fairytale experience. 

We see it also on television and in the movies. You have all seen the portrayals of authors as they sit at home, working on their patios writing leisurely. Um, yeah, right. Not happening. 

In recent years, there has been a lot of talk about how unreal and how fake social media has become and about how people will only post the good things online. We never want to show people who we really are online. 

In 2020, Christian music recording artist, Matthew West released the song Truth Be Told which explains this the best:

Lie number one you're supposed to have it all together
And when they ask how you're doing
Just smile and tell them, "Never better"

Lie number 2 everybody's life is perfect except yours
So keep your messes and your wounds
And your secrets safe with you behind closed doors

Truth be told
The truth is rarely told

The reality is, there is nothing wrong with being who you are. Struggling is fine. Everyone struggles in life. No one has it perfect. In fact, going through the process of recognizing those weaknesses, will allow you the chance to work through those issues and make yourself a better person. 

Keeping those failures inside and hiding those failures inside is simply bottling up those emotions which is simply not a healthy experience. Sure, you might feel like you are doing this to not let anyone else down, but the person you are eventually hurting will be you. Think of a bottle of soda. Keep it sealed and shake it. Keep shaking it long enough. What happens? Eventually it will blow. Releasing that pressure, will keep things from becoming a big mess.

Your readers will not lose faith in you if they see you as human. Your editors will not hate you if you have a headache or if you get the flu. Life happens. It is fine if you have a bad day. You are human. You are not a Superhuman and no one ever asked you to be or expected you to be.

Day 5 - (Motivation) Don't Dance Through Injuries...

Don't dance through injuries and hope for the best. Pain is a signal, not a challenge. Listen to your body - and your doctor. Only push if you're medically cleared to do so. Ignoring it won't get you ahead. It delays and destroys your future. ~Acay Anil

No, we are not talking about pain today, but we are going to talk about ignoring things that you know might not be right. We are talking about listening to your gut instinct. Still, let's start with dancers and athletes.

Dancers and athletes know their careers depend on their bodies. They know their career is dependent on how they perform. If they cannot rehearse, perform or play, they do not get paid. They know there is always someone who is right behind them who will step in and take over their role or take over their position and they will be history. So what will they do? They will play through an injury? "Oh, it is just a sore muscle." "It's nothing. I just need to ice it," they say. When in reality, it is much more serious. 

And when it finally does come out that the problem was worse, the career is over, or seriously delayed... and that person in the wings does indeed step in and take over the role. 

As I said, I am not here to talk about pain, but to focus on the writing.

When we write, there will be moments when you are madly charging toward a deadline, trying to get through that next chapter or to get through that next scene, and your brain starts to send up warning signals. We are talking about that gut instinct feeling. According to the Cambridge Dictionary online, a gut instinct is defined as "a strong feeling that makes you sure that you are right [or wrong], even though it is not based on facts." There is something that isn't quite right about what is going on with that scene, but you know that things will work out later in the chapter, or even later in the book. "It's fine," you tell yourself. 

You just told yourself to ice that injury. 

As a professional writer, you also need to pay attention to your career and the things going on around you. Maybe your editor is saying things differently. Maybe revisions are coming back in a different format? Maybe you are seeing a shift in how books are being released in the bookstores? Are you paying attention? Or, are you saying that it is just a pain and it will go away? It may be a small injury, or it may be worse.

I don't want you to be paranoid about everything. Paranoia will destroy you just as much so don't over do it. But at the same time. Don't dance through those injuries.

Day 4 - (Motivation) Take Charge of your Mental Health

I've seen brilliant dancers burn out during school - not because they weren't good enough, but because they didn't know how to rest, self regulate or ask for help. Mental endurance is part of physical longevity. Train your nervous system like your body. ~Acay Anil

Writing is a tough business. I am not going to lie to you. As a hobby writer, sitting down when you want to and write over a cup of tea in the morning or in the evening is relaxing. Putting words on a page with no pressure of deadlines is enjoyable. There is a freedom of sharing thoughts and expressing your feelings. There is a reason why writing and literature falls into the category of THE HUMANITIES. 

But this also becomes difficult because it DOES fall into the category of THE HUMANITIES and writing DOES deal with raw emotions. We start to care about what we put on that page. We start to care about what others think about what we write. We worry about not being good enough. 

I ask a lot of writers how they feel about sharing their work with others and many openly admit they never like to share their work with anyone until it is 100% perfect in their own eyes. This is far too much pressure to put on anyone. Can we ever be perfect? Can we ever get that sentence just right? Can we ever please every reader out there? The answer is no. And yet, as writers, we cannot seem to wrap our heads around it and we still try to push ourselves to try and achieve it. 

And to what end? 

We mentally push ourselves to the extreme? Writers will lock themselves away in their rooms, headphones on and turn off the their families and work for hours maybe accomplishing very little with their writing, only to come out an emotional wreck. I am reminded of a character of a show I recently watched that I totally loved - Etoile. One of the characters was this much of a perfectionist. Tobias Bell.

While there were other issues at play here, he was an emotional wreck. 

When writers get like this, that mental fatigue leads to physical and social issues as well. It doesn't take much research out there to see the links between these which I know all of you have seen. 

But now, let's add in one more part of the equation. What happens when you become a professional writer and we put in deadlines:

• Proposal to editor by set date - which must be correct and approved
• Draft to editor by set date - which must be correct and approved
• New idea in the works while waiting for edits from editor
• Edits from editor and now on to revisions which have to be back by a certain day - which must be correct and approved
• New idea for next book AND Edits for the last book to editor back - which have to be correct and approved
• Art and Business departments need feedback on cover designs, dedication pages and author notes.
• Market on your part has to be going.
• You are still writing, correct?
• You did remember to go to your real job?
• Did you feed the dogs?
• You do have a family, right?
• Did you do the laundry?
• Did you turn off the stove when you went to the grocery?

And then maybe a review comes in and it is not that good. Or now you worry that if the sales numbers are not there, will you get that next contract because, remember, each contract is based on how well you did on the prior contract? 

You want to talk to someone, but no one would understand what you are going through. Your spouse or significant other would never know because he or she is not a writer. So you try to do this on your own. 

Look back on Anil's comment again... they didn't know how to rest, self regulate or ask for help.

Writers need to know how to find time to just step away. There IS time. Weeks? Maybe not. Time for a walk? Time for a stroll with the dogs or a cup of tea next to a fountain? YES! Can you ask for help? Yes. Remember your critique groups? Remember your editors and agents? Talk to them. Remember your family? Talk to them. They may not be able to help with the writing, but they can cook a dinner, they can bring you a snack, they can just listen. 

Day 3 (Motivation) - Best in Studio Means Noting In The Real World

Being the best in the studio means nothing in the real world. Once you're out there, everyone is strong. Everyone is flexible. What makes you different? How you show up. How you recover. How you adapt. How you tell stories through your dancing. ~ Akay Anil

I really love this thought because it really comes down to a competition level and how we spend too much time trying to be the best, to be better than the other person, to be one step ahead of someone else. Now, don't get me wrong. I am someone who believes that there is something to be said about competition. It does push people. But if that is all we think about, then it tends to make us have a misguided perception of the world and even of ourself.

In the end, as writers, we are all the same. When you sit down at your computer, or you sit down with your legal pad and your pen and paper, you need to know that around the world, there are thousands of others who are doing the exact same thing. 

Every author out there, whether they are new to storytelling, or they have been writing for years, or have been published by a major press, or have self-published or are still trying to find that first contract still struggle with the same things. They all look to figure out what their characters are doing. They look to find the right word and the right phrase to convey the right mood or feeling. 

Your job, is to bring your own voice to the table. Quit trying to be a copy of someone else. Be yourself. As Anil notes in her comment, show that flexibility but show what makes you different and show who you are when you come into the room.

Does this mean to be so completely different and "weird" that people just stare at you? No. But you should be that person that people "see" you in the group.

I am reminded of two authors in particular I saw at conferences. Both just stood out because of "how they showed up." These were working conferences and, as always, I am someone who "people watches." Both of these authors came into rooms and they just stood out as being different. They moved in the room as being professional. They dressed professional. They carried themselves with confidence. They were not cocky or arrogant. You could see they were new authors, but they stood out. I was fortunate to have both pitch to me. Both had projects that were great, but what really stood out was how the demonstrated that they were different and they could tell their stories through how they presented themselves in their pitches. 

So, what can you do to stand out?

Day 2 (Motivation) Your Technique Won't Save You If You're Not Coachable

Beautiful lines won't matter if you can't take correction. adapt quickly and listen. adapt quickly, and listen. Directors want dancers they can trust - not ones who need to be convinced. ~ Acay Anil

We talked about this yesterday when we talked about learning. This is also about mindset but also about being open. 

There is nothing wrong with having opinions. We love having opinions. We love having thoughts. But there are times when it is important to just be quiet and listen. 

This line from HAMLITON is so right on the money. If an editor or an agent has to spend time trying to convince you that a chance in your story is necessary, what is that telling them about you? Are you someone that they will want to work with in the future?

I have overheard authors at conferences talk about agents and editors who they have left, but when they continue talking, you realize, the issue was not with the agent or the editor, it was with the fact that the writer was the individual being difficult. The author was not the person being "part" of the team and "part" of the conversation. 

Being in business or society means interacting with other people. It requires considering where other people are coming from and sometimes listening. Remember, you as an author went to that agent because that person was the expert who, a you said "knew the system and knew how to guide you in your career." So listen. Remember, it is the editor, who has gotten other people to that coveted list that you are trying so hard to get to telling you what to do to get there. So why are you telling them now you know better? 

Day 1 (Motivation) Talent Is Overrated

It might get you noticed, but it won't get you hired - or keep you hired. What matters more: how consistently you show up, how you take feedback, and you carry yourself in the room. Your energy often speaks louder than your steps. Talent gets applause. Work ethic builds a career. ~ Ayca Anil

But Scott, wait a minute, isn't it the talent that gets us the contract? Isn't it what the editors and agents first when they are looking at those submissions?

Well, sort of... But that is not what we are talking about here.

If you really focus on what Anil is talking about here, it is about consistency and presence. It is about work ethic. Sure, we will read about those authors who come out of no where, make it big and then what happens? They disappear. They become a nobody. Why does that happen? They seem to think that now that they have made it, they feel that they have the talent and they are so good, they don't need to do any more than to live on that talent. Oh how wrong they are!

Just because your first book sells does not mean there is not room to learn. Someone can always give us a new insight into what we are doing, but we have to be open to just listen and consider what that person has to say? We also have to be open to take that feedback. We cannot slam the door on someone who gives us feedback because we don't like them, or because it hurts our feelings. In fact, Ayca's post on social media actually starts off with the comment, "Dance Career Advice I'd Give you If I Wasn't Afraid of Hurting Your Feelings." Sorry, but "Suck it up, Buttercup." It is time to learn and listen to what other people have to say."

It is also about how you show up in public. Again, too often I have seen authors, who have once they have gotten that "first big contract" suddenly become a DIVA, and refuse to talk to "those below them." They seem to have forgotten that just days below, they were one of those underlings. Regardless of your talent, regardless of whether you are on the NY Times Best Sellers List or you are just selling a lot of books with a smaller line, you still have the same number of legs and the same number of arms as those who still are trying to trying to get there. Be humble. Be nice. Come in with an energy that says, I am here to learn with you and I am also here to help you get to where you want to want to be.

Sure, some people will get those standing ovations, but you can sit there and, in your heart know, you are doing great work and being a great person. 

Upcoming Motivational Series

Beginning on July 9th, I will be running a 12 day series here on the blog to get you thinking about writing from a different angle. I believe that too often, authors spend too much time wordsmithing to death their stories, worrying about their GMC's of their characters or thinking about how to market their book before they have even written it. As you have read here on the blog, how many times have I talked about going to conferences listening to authors complaining about book sales, or whining about the business of publishing and not thinking about the stories or even why they are writing. 

That is the point of this series.

I have the benefit of having three fantastic kids in some pretty diverse careers (all of which were amazingly expensive to support as parents). My oldest, Rowan, is a NCAA swim coach and who still competes competitively. My middlest, Cate, is an Equestrian coach in Wellington, Florida working with dressage and hunter/jumpers. My youngest, Bronwyn, who just graduated is a dancer and choreographer. All provide me unique insights not just from a coaching insight, but from a mental and learner's mindset into how to prepare and think about how to approach an activity. For this series, we are going to go to the dance field.

I stumbled across this from a social media post that came across my feed by a ballerina and movement educator by a ballerina and movement educator by the name of Ayca Anil. Her insights were amazing. We'll take what she says about ballet and dance and look at it from a writing perspective. 

Let's get ready to change our thinking! 

Finding Motivation in the Tough Times

There will be tough days in writing. There will be days when you simply say you don't want to write. There will be days when you get too many rejection letters. There will be days when you stare at a blank screen and not know what to write. There will be days when you ask yourself "how did I get into this mess?"

Sorry, the lyrics got stuck in my head...

Still, you understand what I am talking about. Every author has these. And honestly, for many authors out there, when these moments hit, they simply quit and walk away. The pressure is just too much. The fear of failure is too great. The negative self-doubt is too strong to get over that hurdle.

And that is a shame. I have met a lot of great writers who I saw had potential who just walked away. 

I am, in no way going to say that those successful writers out there do not have bad days. Everyone of them do. But for each of them, they find a way to overcome that hurdle. My challenge for you is to find that way to get over the hurdle and get through that tough time. I will say, please, do not say you are going to give yourself a week or more off of writing. This is similar to those students who say they are going to "take a Gap Year" and often never make it to college. The time away allows your brain just to prove to itself that walking away was worth it. 

Here are some of the things I have heard authors do. All simple. All easy. All work.:

• Take a walk
• Garden
• Clean the house (that is my favorite)
• Go play a video game with your kids
• Bake a cake
• Go write something totally stupid and fun
• Take a day and help out someone who needs help
• Instead of writing, go and read
• Instead of writing, spend some time thinking of new plots
• Instead of writing, use the time to market
• Instead of writing, use the time to support other authors (and yes, that means you can spend way too much money at a bookstore!)

The thing is, that often, we run into these difficulties because we put so much pressure on ourselves that we are thinking more about the pressure and less about the work in front of us. Simply find a way to shift the focus. 

Remember The Joy Of Writing

I always like to remind people of this every now and then. When you first started writing and telling stories, the odds are you did it out of complete personal pleasure. You would immerse yourself in the lives of your characters. You didn't worry about anything except for telling the story. Once people become focused on making this a career, sometimes that joy disappears.

If you find yourself struggling with your latest work in progress, you have to take yourself back to that time when writing was fun. No, this does not mean to write with a wild abandon and not caring if the story was good or not. Just try to remember that pure pleasure.

One of the biggest issues I see with writers and projects that just are not that amazing, is that they spent too much time trying to force the story into doing the right thing. They spent countless hours trying to craft the right phrase, the right scene or the right transition. In the end, they came up with something, but in reality, it probably was not the right thing. The reason, they forced the story.

Look, I get that you will have deadlines to meet and editor or agent obligations. There is a pressure to produce and always do so at a high level once you become a professional writer. But, when we force a story it will come across as forced.

So, when you find yourself in this situation, step back for a bit. No, I am not talking days but a few minutes. Run an errand, clean a room, have a snack, walk the dog. Do something to distract you for a bit from that scene and that stumbling block. Now, while you are taking that break, send your mind back to do those days of writing for pure fun. I promise, the answers will appear, you will be in a better place and the writing will be good!

Tuesday Motivation

I just saw this pop up on Twitter and I totally loved it.

Hard work: Easy work: ————— —————– create criticize inspire complain educate imitate empower control develop blame finish give up collaborate ignore trust exaggerate

There is a lot to be said about these ideas when it comes to the publishing world. I think that too often, we spend time looking at the right column and not the left column. And then we wonder why our books and stories are not getting published, or we are not seeing the success we wanted or expected.

If we spend time CREATING great stories, instead of just CRITICIZING the industry, editors, agents or readers, we might find more success.

Maybe published authors should consider INSPIRING those new authors and not COMPLAINING about how unskilled they are would get us some better writers. Remember, we were all new once before.

Just IMITATING what is out there will bit yield success. We need to be EDUCATED in knowing how to truly write well.

Those people sitting on boards of those writing organizations might see stronger participation if they EMPOWER their members and not just CONTROL.

DEVELOP new ways of succeeding don't just BLAME others when things don't go as planned

FINISH that dang story. GIVING UP is a quitter approach.

COLLABORATE with your fellow writers. IGNORING them is not going to get you anywhere. You can help each other win.

TRUST that your critique partners will tell you the truth. And critique partners, don't EXAGGERATE small things in your fellow writer's story just because you don't want to tell them the truth that maybe the story is not that good.

It's All About You: You Are In The Driver's Seat

Every now and then, I like to take the time to remind people that you are in control of your own destiny when it comes to your writing and publishing. While it is really easy to blame other people about things not working out the way you want, in the end, it all comes back to you.

I often bring this up when we talk about contracts. I lot of time I hear authors complain that the publisher did things they did not like. Take a look at the contract YOU signed. Was it in there? Most likely yes. More importantly, whose signature is on that contract. It was you.

Writers do not have to sign that contract. You decide who you want to send your project to and who you want to work with. You are not being forced.

But I want to take this to those of you who might not have a contract yet.

• YOU decide who you want to send your story to for consideration.
• YOU decide if you want to act upon the recommendations given to you in those rejection letters.
• YOU decide if you want to target your submissions or just send it to anyone with an email.
• YOU decide if you want to work with a critique group.
• YOU decide if you need to learn things about your craft and your writing.
• YOU decide if you want to research your genre before you start submitting.
• YOU decide if you want to make time in your schedule to write.
• YOU decide to make the changes

In other words, if you don't like where things are going, what are YOU going to do about it? Just sitting around on social media, complaining about the industry, editors, agent, the process and so forth does nothing to advance your career.

Attitude And Desire Are Key In Publishing Success

We spend a lot of time talking about technique and strategies when it comes to writing and publishing. While these are certainly important, there is also the element of your own mindset when it comes to success. You have to believe that you can do it.

I just finished reading THE RISE OF SUPERMAN by Kotler. He spends a great deal of time talking about how people are successful in those extreme sports such as rock climbing, skydiving and all of that crazy stuff. Throughout all of this, he really pushes the idea of attitude and how these athletes think. It plays a key role.

For writers, you have to also believe you can do it. Understand that this does not mean it replaces the hard work, training and dedication. It also does not mean that attitude alone will carry you. What your attitude does it to give you the drive to get up every day and work on that story. It is the drive that says even in the hardest of times, you will find a way to overcome the obstacles.

When you talk to successful authors, they always have that "can do" attitude. I remember seeing a post a while ago from my good friend Jane Porter. She had hit a stumbling block on one of her novels and realized she was going to have to return to square one. Instead of complaining, she simply took the moment, seized the day and moved forward.

If you are still using terms such as "I hope to..." or "I will try to..." the odds are that you are not in that mindset yet. You need to simply know you can do it and push forward.

Positive Post As Promised

I heard this over the weekend and thought there were a lot of great things to consider for new writers. Here is the link to where I got this list from, but you can certainly find the video. Well worth the watch. My comments on the links to publishing are below each of the points from the commencement address

https://workplacepsychology.net/2014/06/10/10-life-lessons-from-basic-seal-training-from-admiral-william-h-mcraven/

Life Lessons from Basic SEAL Training

1. If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed.
“If you can’t do the little things right, you will never do the big things right.”

Look, if you want to write a novel, you are going to have to start writing those first words. Too often, writers will not start anything until they think they have it 100% under control first. It is not going to happen. 

2. If you want to change the world, find someone to help you paddle.
“You can’t change the world alone—you will need some help— and to truly get from your starting point to your destination takes friends, colleagues, the good will of strangers and a strong coxswain to guide them.”

Writing is not a business you can do on your own, You have to join writing groups. You have to attend a lot of conferences. You have to read the writing from other people and you have to let them read your writing. 

3. If you want to change the world, measure a person by the size of their heart, not the size of their flippers.
“SEAL training was a great equalizer. Nothing mattered but your will to succeed. Not your color, not your ethnic background, not your education and not your social status.”

This is something I have been ranting about a lot. Look at the things that made a seal great. It was the training, not the other things. Your story is only going to be good once you make it through basic training. 

4. If you want to change the world get over being a sugar cookie and keep moving forward.
“Sometimes no matter how well you prepare or how well you perform you still end up as a sugar cookie.”

“For failing the uniform inspection, the student [in Basic SEAL training] had to run, fully clothed into the surfzone and then, wet from head to toe, roll around on the beach until every part of your body was covered with sand. The effect was known as a ‘sugar cookie.’ You stayed in that uniform the rest of the day — cold, wet and sandy.”

“There were many a student who just couldn’t accept the fact that all their effort was in vain. . . Those students didn’t understand the purpose of the drill. You were never going to succeed. You were never going to have a perfect uniform.”

Writing requires a tough skin. People WILL hate your writing. People WILL reject you. People will say negative things about you. So suck it up. Don't try to make excuses. Guess what, your writing may just suck. So fix it and move on. 

5. If you want to change the world, don’t be afraid of the circuses.
“Every day during training you were challenged with multiple physical events — long runs, long swims, obstacle courses, hours of calisthenics — something designed to test your mettle. Every event had standards — times you had to meet. If you failed to meet those standards your name was posted on a list, and at the end of the day those on the list were invited to a ‘circus.’ A circus was two hours of additional calisthenics designed to wear you down, to break your spirit, to force you to quit.”

“Life is filled with circuses. You will fail. You will likely fail often. It will be painful. It will be discouraging. At times it will test you to your very core.”

Writing involves a lot more than simply writing your story. You will be knee-deep in marketing, research, PR, and other things that will suck up your time. Your kids will get sick. Your real job will pull you away from your writing. Find a way to deal with it. 

6. If you want to change the world sometimes you have to slide down the obstacle head first.

In simple terms, take a chance. Yes, you may fail, but take those risks. 

7. If you want to change the world, don’t back down from the sharks.
“There are a lot of sharks in the world. If you hope to complete the swim you will have to deal with them.”

There will be a lot of people around you who want you to fail. Focus on your goals and ignore them. But please remember, if these people are professionals telling you your writing is garbage, don't ignore them. 

8. If you want to change the world, you must be your very best in the darkest moment.
“At the darkest moment of the mission is the time when you must be calm, composed—when all your tactical skills, your physical power and all your inner strength must be brought to bear.”

After those rejections. After those negative reviews. Get back to your writing!

9. If you want to change the world, start singing when you’re up to your neck in mud.
“If I have learned anything in my time traveling the world, it is the power of hope. The power of one person—Washington, Lincoln, King, Mandela and even a young girl from Pakistan, Malala—one person can change the world by giving people hope.”

See #8

10. If you want to change the world don’t ever, ever ring the bell.
“In SEAL training there is a bell. A brass bell that hangs in the center of the compound for all the students to see. All you have to do to quit—is ring the bell. Ring the bell and you no longer have to wake up at 5 o’clock. Ring the bell and you no longer have to do the freezing cold swims. Ring the bell and you no longer have to do the runs, the obstacle course, the PT—and you no longer have to endure the hardships of training. Just ring the bell. If you want to change the world don’t ever, ever ring the bell.”

Far too many writers quit when things get tough. I had the chance to work with a writer just like this. She has a great talent, but when her first book never made it, she gave up. She still jokes about how "sure, she is going to get back to writing" but I worry she rang that bell and just quit. You cannot do that.