Queries That Say Nothing Will Be Rejected

Last weekend, I was reading through submissions and I found myself passing on so many authors for a reason that could have easily been fixed. The authors simply didn't tell me anything about their stories. OK, they told me something, but honestly, not enough, which left it up to me to fill in the gaps with what "I thought" the book might be about. Of course, what I thought might not have been what the book was really about. And therein lies the problem. You were just rejected and there is no coming back from that. 

I get it, query letters are tough, but you have to give us something to work with to really make a decision. I don't want to get into the full query letter writing subject here. I do that a lot on this blog, but I do want to focus on what I am seeing and how it is wrong.

Consider this...

I am presenting to you my novel Weeds in the Grass, a contemporary work beautifully set in urban America taking the reader on a journey of the exploration of the soul. Our characters face challenges that will give the reader a moment to pause and think about her own life and how she is dealing with families, her work and her own soul. As Emily works daily on her yardwork, we have a chance to grow and learn through her internal thoughts. This 75,000 word women's fiction novel is comparable to stories of self-help and spiritual novels of the ages and something this world truly needs.

OK, Wow! This person spent a lot of time wordsmithing this pile of verbiage that tells me nothing other than I just fell asleep reading it (actually, I almost fell asleep making this up as I wrote it). 

Do we have any sense of a plot, theme or character? Do we have any purpose? No. If I see this, I have to take a guess of what the reader might be getting at her. I am assuming this is a story, maybe in a literary fiction voice, although it might lean in the direction of a Jodi Picoult (maybe????) Maybe this is in 1st person, although I could clearly see this being written in some obscure weird 3rd person as the author is trying to be "intelligent" sounding (based entirely on the blurb). I am guessing that this person is likely going to spend a lot of time info-dumping trivia about her gardening knowledge and using Latin terms for the herbs in the garden (maybe). And I am also betting that we might have someone who is going to dump more baggage in this story than someone on a 4 day cruise that doesn't know how to pack. 

What I do know is that I am not going to waste my time asking for a synopsis from this person just to find out more about the story because if the blurb reads like this, getting the synopsis for the story is going to be equally as worse and will read more like James Joyce's Finnigan's Wake:

riverrun, past Eve and Adam’s, from swerve of shore to bend of bay, brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to Howth Castle and Environs. Sir Tristram, violer d’amores, fr’over the short sea, had passencore rearrived from North Armorica on this side the scraggy isthmus of Europe Minor to wielderfight his penisolate war: nor had topsawyer’s rocks by the stream Oconee exaggerated themselse to Laurens County’s gorgios while they went doublin their mumper all the time: nor avoice from afire bellowsed mishe mishe totauftauf thuartpeatrick: not yet, though venissoon after, had a kidscad buttended a bland old isaac: not yet, though all’s fair in vanessy, were sosie sesthers wroth with twone nathandjoe. Rot a peck of pa’s malt had Jhem or Shen brewed by arclight and rory end to the regginbrow was to be seen ringsome on the aquaface. The fall 

The point I want to make is simple. Tell me about your story in the query. Tell me the basics:

• Title, genre, word count, high concept
• Basic plot with characters, conflict and setting
• Who you are and where your career is heading.

That's it.

Reasons Your Query Letter May be Failing You

Writers are often told by editors and agents that, in the end, the story is all that matters when it comes to a submission. They will tell you, the query or the submission is not going to matter. Writers will even tell each other that, if your story is amazing, it will sell.

And yet, writers get rejection after rejection on these amazing stories. So what is happening?

It is a poorly written and composed query letter.

I have always loved two quotes that I go back to over and over again when I am teaching writing, whether it is academic, professional or in the field of publishing. The first is, "You never get a second chance to make a first impression." The second is from Hallmark - "When you care enough to send the very best." Both are directly connected to that query letter. 

When we open our emails, you need to think about what we are seeing. For many of us, we are using something similar to Outlook. 

So, what are we looking at? The odds are, we are not reading that full email. The "READING PANE" is only going to show us part of your email. For this reason, you have to really hook us immediately. Think about your novels and why the first three chapters matter? If you don't hook the reader early on, you will lose them. The same goes for your email. We can tell a lot from this small glimpse into your query letter. 

So, what are the things getting in your way of us wanting to read more? Let's talk.

• GRAMMAR, GRAMMAR, GRAMMAR This is a big one! Spelling, grammar, and typos happen. We get it. However, this is a professional business letter and if you are immediately showing us you have a lack of command of the rules of writing, what do you think you are telling us about your ability to write a novel? Take the time to check it before hitting send.
• PROFESSIONALISM Not only is this a business letter, but the language you use, and the things you talk about in the letter matter. Telling me "It would be a shame if you pass on this submission" or telling me "Oprah is considering you book" is not going to help you get your novel noticed. This is an immediate rejection. Even if you are a new author, telling me you don't know what you are doing is not going to help. Telling me I would be your third agent is telling me something.  
• MASS EMAILS If you want to be rejected fast, start your email off with "Dear Agent". We all understand that the years of an exclusive read by an editor or agent are gone. We know you are sending it out to a lot of people. With that said, make it personal. Show us why you are selecting us to read your story. Are you really interested in working with me as your agent, or are you just throwing darts? This also includes making sure you know the name of the person you are sending it to. Guess, what, I am not Mr. Greyhaus! 
• VAGUE Another agent I have worked with once said in a agent panel, "A maybe means a no." If you have a query letter that doesn't give the editor or agent enough to make a decision, we will not ask for more. If I have no sense of your story, you will be rejected. If you tell me you have been previously been published by one of the "Big 5" publishers, tell us who AND when you were published. If you just tell us to go and look at your website or your online blog where your story is posted, we will not go and look. 
• SELF-PUBLISHED This one is a tough one. Some agents and editors will not look at self-published books. Think of it this way. If you self-published the story, and it is doing well, why are you reaching out now. If you chose to self-publish, why did you do it? Were you rejected in the past? Did people already tell you the story is bad? Then why now? With that said, if you were self-published, show us the numbers. I don't want to see your number of 4-star reviews on Amazon. Show us the numbers. How much have you sold?
• TELLING US YOU HAVE ALREADY SENT IT TO A TON OF EDITORS Look, if the editors already said no, there is nothing more we can do. We can certainly try, but honestly, if they said no already, just because it is coming from an agent does not mean they will now take it. Agents are not your "last attempt to save your career."

Using "Comps" In Your Query Letter

 As you write your query letters to editors and agents, you want to showcase how your story fits within the current market. This is also a chance to really showcase how your story is competitive and why the editor or agent would want to read more or sign you as a client. Of course this is really a difficult challenge because you are trying to keep the initial query short and sweet. One of the best ways to work around this is through using "Comps" or Comparable Stories to show a bit more of your project.

Essentially, "comps" are stories from other established authors that you can say your story is really similar to. This might be similarities in terms of themes, characters or voice. When you do this, you are essentially riding on the coat-tails of the other author. 

For example, you may have written a women's fiction piece about a couple of women trying to find their place in the world. Together, the two of them learn things about each other and about themselves through their adventures. This is a pretty common trope. But you can add to this by saying it has similar elements as seen in something like THELMA AND LOUISE or BOYS ON THE SIDE. Using these give the agent or editor something that he or she might be able to relate to.

But here are some things that I want you to consider.

First, you have to take the time to explain WHY your story is equal to those projects. If all you have is that these are road trip movies and your story is to, that is not enough. Show us a bit more in terms of depth talking about themes or messages.

Secondly, make sure that you are picking projects that are pretty familiar. While editors and agents do read, we might not be reading that obscure Argentinian author from the 1960's. 

Finally, make sure that your comps are not all over the place. You will notice I used two similar movies to make the comparison in my example. What I see a lot of is something such as:

My story is very similar to the Harry Potter series, Gone with the Wind and Sponge Bob Squarepants.

Huh?

Now, do you have to include comps? Absolutely not. If you really cannot make a comparison, then don't force the issue. 

What Does Your Query Letter Really Say?

I spent this last weekend reading a lot of query letters, and, unfortunately, most of those query letters did very little to advance the cause for the writer. Translation? They ended in a rejection!

I get it. Query letters are tough to write! This letter has to sell you and your project, while at the same time, keeping it nice, short and to the point. The problem is that in many of the letters I see, the authors have left out so much to really sell the project, and then replaced it with information that shows us too much of nothing.

Let me first start by saying that what goes into a query letter is the exact same material that goes into a cover letter for a resume when you apply for a job anywhere. These HR departments want to not only see a "letter of introduction" they also want an executive summary of all of the material and work you would demonstrate in the resume, while at the same time, keeping it short. Let me show you an example from a local college.

Upload (attach) a cover letter that addresses how you meet the required  qualifications as outlined in this announcement. At [insert school], we value culturally responsive and compassionate individuals who bridge diverse backgrounds and perspectives in support of academic equity and excellence. In your cover letter, please address how you will support the mission of [insert school] to create quality educational opportunities for a diverse community of learners to thrive in an evolving world. Please include in your response how your previous education and/or professional experience contribute to your effectiveness in promoting a climate of student success for a diverse community of learners. 

Look at what these people want. At some level, this is insane in a short letter.

First they expect you to address the required qualifications. They don't just want a list, but they would also love to see (although not stated) the outcomes. Here is the list.

• Bachelor's degree in Business or Office Management, Communications, Non-profit Management, Fundraising, a related field OR a combination of equivalent educational and professional experience.
• Minimum of three (3) years' experience in fundraising, donor or alumni relations or a related communications position.
• Excellent social skills, with individuals and large groups.
• Experience writing and overseeing quality communications material.
• Demonstrated mastery of Microsoft Office Suite software as well as the ability to learn new software easily.
• Experience using web outreach and social media to develop and strengthen connections.
• Experience using databases to manage contact information and activities.
• Demonstrated ability to work in a fast pace, multi-tasking environment with great attention to detail.
• Experience using Excel spreadsheets to develop budget and other reports as needed.
• Experience interpreting data and budgets, and the ability to present the results.
• Outstanding written and verbal communications skills.
• Ability to motivate and work with volunteers and staff under pressure.
• Ability to organize with a high level of attention to detail, perform outcomes driven work with sound judgment in setting priorities with multiple deadlines.

But then add in all of the underlined information. Again, don't just list but show outcomes. 

And now, make sure to also include other information in your resume that you want to prove as beneficial.

Now, here is the positive part! Query letters are easier, but you still have to keep that same focus.

In your query letter, we want to see three basic things:

1. Information about the book and why you are contacting us.
2. The basics about the plot, characters and conflict
3. Your writing career (past and future)

When we discuss information about the book, we want title, genre and word count. We want to know why you have selected us and in 1-2 sentences, how your story fits what we are looking for in a great book. Please note, we are not saying that you wrote a romantic suspense and we acquire romantic suspense. We are talking about what characteristics of your book/voice match what we are looking for in a great book.

When it comes to the plot, think back cover blurb but not so much of a tease. We have to know setting, the general premise, who the characters are and what the conflict is in the story. Give us a bit of a feel as to how this will wind up in the end. Leave out all of those secondary characters, back story and the moment when "sparks flew when they kissed." Think Dragnet here: "Just the facts, mam."

Finally, we need to know about your writing career. If this is your first book, that's fine. Where is your writing going. This is really where a lot of people screw it up. I don't want to hear that it took you 12 years to write this 50,000 word manuscript. I don't want to hear that you are afraid. I don't want to hear about your cats. I want to know about your writing (and please, DO NOT embellish with overstatements).

I want to now go back to the title of this blog. What does the letter really say? Go back and read it. Assume this is the first time you have ever seen this letter. You don't know this person. You have never met this person. You have no idea what their writing is like. Now ask yourself:

• Do you have enough to make a decision if you want to read more? No you don't get to ask for more information because you don't get it.
• Do you have a full sense of the story?
• Do you have a clear sense that this person knows what his or her genre really is?
• Do you have a clear sense that this person has a clear vision for their writing?
• Does this person appear professional?
• And most importantly... would you hire you, based on this letter.

If you aren't getting the results of what you want, maybe it is time to go back and review your first impression you are making. 

Query Letters and Comps

One common strategy used in a query letter is adding comparable titles. The idea is pretty simple. Since this is the first time the editor or agent has ever heard of you or your novel, you compare it to a known book or author on the market now to give them a sense of the book. Unfortunately, too many authors simply screw this step up.

Let's take a quick step back here and talk about "comps" in the real estate market. If you are like us, we have always hated this. Whenever we talk to the banks about refinancing, or we have looked to potentially sell, the realtors or banks "pull up comps" theoretically from homes in our area. They have either found homes 3 miles away, or homes that are no were closed to what our home is.

And that is the first problem authors have. They compare their book or their voice to something that their story is no where close to.

Often, writers will make comparisons to authors and books they wish to be like or to voices they really "think" their story sounds like. In reality, they might have one character or one scene, or even one or two lines that sound familiar, and then they try to build it even further. Look, you might have a snarky detective, but that does not make your novel similar to Janet Evanovich. There is much more to it.

The other issue is that writers often try to compare their voice to several authors. Again, they run into a huge issue when the two or three authors they have selected are vastly different. "My book can be compared to a Nora Roberts and J.K. Rowling..." Really?

In the case of these two prior problems, this does several things to their query letter. First, it shows the reader you really lack the skills to dissect and study other authors. If you can't figure out what makes the books from these other authors tick, then how do you know what makes your story work?

The second issue is that comparing your book to a lot of authors in an attempt to meet the needs of everyone just muddles things up. It's like serving a Thanksgiving dinner for the extended family and trying to make sure EVERYONE is happy. It never works and becomes that epic failure. The only positive is that it is likely you will never be put in charge of the dinner again.

So let's move on to another mistake authors make is the selection of authors for the comps. Picking authors that no one has ever heard of is not going to help. Sure, you and your fellow book club readers might read obscure Himalayan Culinary Women's Fiction Paranormal, but the odds are, the editors and agents who are working on a specific genre and style are not into that. Your comp failed.

Finally, and this one is a writing craft problem, writers fail to tell us "HOW" your book compares. Remember the phrase, "Show Don't Tell?" This is it. You have to explain to us how and why your story is similar. What are the characteristics of your story that make it similar?

I guess I always like to remind authors, if they cannot come up with a comp, then don't use it. Leaving it out is at least not going to hurt you and your pitch. Adding it and screwing it up WILL hurt!

anet Evanovich

What A Query Is Not

Over this last weekend, I answered a huge stack of submissions and saw a trend. No, this does not happen all of the time, but certainly enough that I think this is time to address the issue of what a query is and is not.

A query letter is that first letter you send out to an editor or an agent to see if he or she would be interested in seeing more of you project. The query letter IS a simple business letter, very similar to a letter of interest in the general business world. There are three things that have to happen in this first letter:

1. Introduce the title, genre and word count of the letter
2. Give the reader a small premise of the story
3. Tell the editor or agent about yourself and why you have reached out to that editor or agent.

THAT IS ALL! Professional, informative and to the point.

But, lately, people are going far beyond that!

Writers seem to think that if they send more information, the editors and agents will want to see more. Unfortunately, this simply shows that you probably do not read the submission guidelines, or are probably not familiar enough with the business. Let me talk about some of the problems.

Cutting and pasting a partial in the email

This is one that you need to be careful about. Some, and I do mean some, agents say to send a sample of the writing in the email, Others do not. So follow their directions. Please note, however, that when you do cut and paste that partial, (again, only if requested) the formatting is still there. 

Attaching other documents to the email

Again, only send what is requested. I actually had someone attaching partials of several other projects, beyond the one they wanted to have considered. We also see authors sending scanned images of newspaper clippings, photos of what they believe the characters look like, and reviews of their other books either scanned for saved as PDFs. Too much!

Adding artwork to the email including the author's thoughts on the cover

While we appreciate your enthusiasm, the publisher is going to do this for you. The problem I have seen far too many times is the author not being a great artist. Now I get a drawing that looks like it was done in a high school art class. Not a great way to think of you story.

Sending prior correspondence from other editors and agents

If you think you are doing this to show how much you have grown, let me just tell you, it isn't working. You are now telling us simply why your writing is BAD. Not only that, you have now told us that we are not your first choice.

Attaching the query letter as a separate document

When you do this, you are just telling us that this is probably a mass email and you have not taking the time to truly review our submission guidelines. Write the darn letter!

Is Your Book Pitch Blah?

As we all know, your query letter or your pitch needs to just rock! You have to, in a single page, or in that 7-10 minute pitch be so amazing that we want to buy your book right there. And yet, time and time again, people pitch stories that do nothing to amaze us as editors or agents. You need to

somehow stand out, and then you turn around and make yourself sound like a bologna sandwich on white bread. Boring!

Your job is to show us that your story is unique! You want to make your story stand out and show us that there is something special in your novel. Yes, we want a story that will fit in with the market, but even then, you have to bring in your special brand and style to it.

One of the biggest places where authors make this mistake is in that single sentence that describes your book. While your book might address one of the many universal themes in literature, you cannot just leave it at that. For example, if you tell me that your story is a "coming of age story that shows the value of true friendship" you did nothing. You just described millions of books out there. I would also add that if that is truly all your story is about, there is a reason why your book is not selling.

So, let's spin this a new way. "My story is about finding friendship in those that are your enemies who probably cannot be trusted." Now we have something that makes us stand up and take notice. We immediately start thinking of a ton of questions.

• Why would I want to be friends with someone I hate?
• If they can't be trusted, why would I now want to be with this person?
• Is this a situation where the enemies have a change in personality? Do they become nice?
• What situation would have to occur to put enemies together long enough to become friends. 

Another area that makes that pitch blah is when you start using cliche descriptions of the characters and plots. I really see this a lot in the synopsis writing. For me, here is one of my biggest pet peeve phrases - "Sparks ignite when..." I just want to hurl on that one!

The key here is to dump the cliches, and focus in on what makes that story stand out.

Your task today is to think about your story and think about how you can describe it in that single phrase. Make sure to get rid of the Vague, Boring and Over-used words and expressions. But let me also remind you of something. If your story really doesn't have something that makes it stand out and be unique, then you cannot just make something up. The problem here is not the pitch, but the entire story. 

What Your Query Should Be Doing

It's time to talk about those nasty query letters. Hey, what better thing to talk about on a Wednesday. Still, I do think this is something we need to consider.

First of all, I understand that many of you have heard that editors and agents really do not look at the query letters (or even the synopsis you were sweating over). But, I have to say, they are going to look at these and those letters will have an impact on the way they see you or read your submission.

It is important to remember that the query letter is the first impression you are making with that potential editor or agent. As they read that letter, they are already formulating thoughts about whether or not they will like your writing. No, they are not really considering the story at this point; this is all about their decisions of you as a person.

Your goal is to show the editors and agents your level of professionalism and your knowledge of the business as a whole. They want to see how much work they are going to have to put in with you. Are they going to have to spend a lot of time teaching you the business, or are they going to be able to get right to work on building your career and your writing?

With that said, do not spend the time telling us that you are new to this business. Do not spend the time going on and on about how you have attended all of these workshops just to learn the business. You might think that you are showing us that you are invested in the career; however, what this is really showing us is that you are still learning the business.

Your query letter also needs to show us a complete picture of your story. Again, I know that many have been told that the blurb about your book is similar to those that you find on the back of the books. While this is heading in the right direction, those blurbs are meant as teasers for your book buying readers. Of course, with these people, you will not want to give away the ending or a lot of the little twists and turns of your story. But for editors and agents, we need to have a complete picture. We really need to see the following:

• Plot
• Character
• Setting
• Theme

Yes, this is the basics, but we need to have all of that information. It is that little snippet that gives us an idea of the story is something we are going to be able to work with. We know that the specifics of the story will come out in the synopsis and the manuscript. The key is to focus on the content.

Finally, it is really important that you demonstrate to us that you have done your research on the agency and publisher. It is your goal to show the editor or agent why you are contacting this person as well as why your writing is a perfect fit for that person. If you think about applying for a job, your cover letter tells that employer why you are a perfect candidate.

Where I see a lot of authors mess this up is that they simply focus on the fact that the agent or editor acquires that genre. It is more than that! We are looking for you and your writing being a perfect fit.

I want you to really read your query letter today and ask yourself, based on what you have written, would you hire yourself? Read it as if this is the first time you have read your query letter.

Have fun!!!!

Sales Sell, Reviews Don't

When authors submit query letters to editors and agents, they are often told to show the success of your writing. This is so true. If you have written in the past, we want to know of those successes! We want to see that we are getting someone who not only knows the business, but has found a way to do well in the business. We do the same thing when we submit resumes and cover letters to potential employers. The goal is to demonstrate that new company is getting a winner.

When it comes to query letters though, many authors miss the mark. These authors rely on reviews and comments they have received for their novels and not sales. Now, why is this not going to work for us? For the simple reason that reviews are not only subjective, but can be written by anyone. Let me give you some examples.

Let's start first with Amazon. This is a known procedure that many companies have used around the world. To hype up the quality of their business, they write their own reviews. They have their friends write reviews. Yes, they get great reviews, and yes, they now show up as 5 star reviews, but it isn't really an accurate reflection of what the whole public is thinking about. Authors do the same thing. When their novel comes out, they "take to the streets!" They get their followers to hype up the quality of their book.

I am not saying those reviews are lies. Those followers love their books. They would buy anything that person puts out. But these are VERY subjective and don't give the editors or agents an accurate picture.

Another twist to this would be getting those advance reviews for your books. This is always a great way to add comments to those advertising campaigns. but again, this can be a bit subjective and still will not give the editors and agents an accurate picture. Why?  Because authors know which places to send their books and where to avoid. If they already know a particular review site tends to be extra critical, or is not a big fan of a particular genre, they avoid it. Smart move, but again, not an accurate

picture.

What gives us a true picture are sales. How many units have you sold? How much money have you brought in on that book that you now want to be represented? Give us an accurate picture.

Again, be accurate with this. Don't try to hide the fact that you sold a ton of books, but did so marking everything down to $.99 to hype up sales.

Here at Greyhaus, I am always willing to look at books that have been previously published, but I always ask for authors to send me sales figures. If you show us the last three months worth of sales, this gives us a great idea.

A couple of days ago, I posted something similar when it came to the Shark Tank concept. I mentioned one guy heading into pitch to the Sharks but only had $200 worth of sales. Despite the fact that the product sounded like it was amazing (note, this came from reviews), when he showed sales, he demonstrated that the product might not be as strong as he had hyped it.

I want to remind you of something you have all been told when it comes to your writing. SHOW DON'T TELL. The same holds true with your stories and the marketing!

Learning From Shark Tank

I fully admit it! Watching Shark Tank is a guilty pleasure of mine. No, I don't DVR the show, but if it is on, I love to swing by and watch these people up there pitching their products. What I find most appealing is how these people try to convince the Sharks as well as, listening to the reasons they end up with their decisions. I bring this up today, because I think it is important for authors to spend some time watching episodes of this show. Through this, they might be able to finally realize why everyone has passed on their project.

I watched one just a couple of days ago and there were several rejects that stood out as analogous to the things I see authors doing.

One guy had, what seemed to be, a lot going for him. Great back story! Great enthusiasm! Great product! And yet, he almost lost it, and frankly, I seriously doubt even the sharks will save him. He had several problems.

First of all, when he pitched his product, he spent all of his time talking about his personal growth story. He spent the time talking about the people he was helping through his work. He only spent a little bit of time talking about the product. So, what was wrong with that?

I see authors do this all of the time when pitching a story to me, either face to face, or through a query. If you are not showing us your story and showing why your story is the most amazing thing out there, you are missing the point. A frequent mistake I see in a query is the author spending over the first third of the query telling me all of the other stories their project is like (but never being specific). Then the spend a small paragraph giving me a back-cover blurb that really doesn't give me a sense of the character, the plot of the story. Then, the spend another large block of time telling me how they got into writing, the books they read and why their debut novel was a "labor of love." Mistake! Tell me about the story.

Now, here is where the guy on Shark Tank made another mistake. He had not done his research. He didn't know how the product would get made. He did not know how it would be distributed. And, what is worse, he had only made a total of $200 in sales.

For authors, we see the same thing. Authors write a story and immediately start shipping it out to agents and editors and not having a clue about the industry. I don't care what approach you want to take with publishing. you have to understand the business you are entering.

On a second level, there are a lot of authors who have been selling their stories independently, or simply getting feedback from others on their books, and tell editors and agents that a ton of people like their project. A Lot means more than just your extended family. Fantastic reviews mean much more than just your friends on Amazon and Good Reads. Show us objective review. Show us sales of 50K or more.

On that same show, their was another person pitching to the Sharks who had a pretty good product. The problem is that their product was not as big as they projected it to be. Look, you can be enthusiastic about your product, or a story for writers, but know the true potential of your story. Don't think your story is bigger than it really is. I am sorry to say this, but your novella is not likely going to be a movie that hits the big screen.

This same person on Shark Tank made another huge mistake. She argued with the Sharks. You can be persuasive. But remember you are coming to the editors and agents because you believe they can help you and you need their expertise. Telling them they are wrong is not a good political or professional move.

Take a look at the show Watch it and listen. But when you watch it, don't get hung up on the people or the products. Listen to the arguments and the pitches. Now go and think about your query letters and your pitches. Think about the books you have pitched and gotten no where with. Think about your critique partners who also may have gotten less than favorable responses. Do not think about the story or the catchy things in their story. Listen to the words. You may be find what you have been missing.

Writing The Follow Up Query Letter

So, you pitched at a conference and an editor or agent has asked to see more. Now what?

First of all, send the darn thing. We have found that barely 30% of people will send in projects following a request at a conference. IF you took up a time slot and pitched and IF someone said to send more, then DO IT!

This letter though will be different from any other query letter though. You are not going to just crank out your old query letter and you are not going to just repeat everything you said during that 7-10 minute speech. This is about reminding the editor or agent why they thought you were totally amazing.

Begin first with a reminder of when you met and what you pitched. Thank them right from the start and tell them what you are sending to them.

Next, briefly remind them what the story is about. Tell them the characters, the premise, the conflict and maybe the solution.

I should note, that with each of these sections, use terms such as "To remind you..." When we are at a conference, we see a lot of people and hear a lot of pitches. We often do not remember these things. This works in your advantage because you are going to do one more thing.

Continually remind them of all the things they said they liked during the meeting! For example...

As a reminder, this was the story about the little girl who finally emerged from the foster care system and the struggles she faced with becoming adjusted to a family who really cared. You noted that this story was truly inspirational and it reminded you of a friend of yours from high school...

By doing this, you are priming them with only good thoughts so when they read the story, they are already thinking good things.

Now, as you give them the premise/pitch, do not use the memorized version you used. Just give them the basics.

Finally, make sure in the last section to mention the other projects you are working on and can't wait to share these ideas with them as well. Also, if you are only sending a partial, tell them that you would very much love to send them a full manuscript. You can also make sure to tell them to call you if they have additional questions or want to see more. Be accessible!

And one last thing. Send it IMMEDIATELY after the conference. DO NOT go home and start edits or want to send it though your critique group one more time. It should have been ready when you pitched. Even if the editor or agent said that he or she would not get to it immediately because they are taking a couple of weeks off, it will be in the email AND they will see the time stamp of when you sent it. This shows follow through.

The Summary In Your Query Is Not A Back Cover Blurb

When we are reading query letters, there are three things that we need to see. The first is the basic information about the book (title, genre and word count). The second would be the information about the story arc of the book. The final piece is information about you as an author. What we tend to find in query letters is that the middle piece is the one that so many people screw up.

When it comes to this section, a lot of writers are often told this summary is similar to the back cover blurb on published novels. It is important to note that this is true. It is SIMILAR. But this is not what we need to see in the query letter.

When it comes to those blurbs on the back cover of published novels, these are meant to be a teaser. There needs to be a hint of what the book is going to be about, without giving away the plot or the conflict. We just need a bit. Unfortunately, for letters, we need much more.

Although you are going to give us a synopsis of your story and hopefully a partial or a full to read, the blurb in the query letter needs to give us the story arc. We need to see the beginning, the middle and the end. We need to know what the conflict of the story is and a bit of how it will be solved. I know this may feel like a lot to put in 1-2 paragraphs but it is important for us to get a sense of the story and how it might fit into our line up.

I have said this in the past, but I want to repeat this here again. If we are left with questions about the book, we will not likely ask for more material just to get those questions answered. We will simply pass on the project.

So, take a look at that information about your book. Are you just hinting or giving us a complete picture of your story?

Query Letter Basics

I hear a lot of writers complain about query letters. These letters are hard! Why are we writing these because the editors and agents say they don't read the things? What do I put in the letter? What do I leave out? How long? How short? The list goes on and on.

Despite all of the complaints, writers need to understand that the query letter is still a necessary item in the role of publishing. This is your first impression you are making with that potential editor or agent. This is your chance to sell yourself!

I always remind authors that query letters are no different than cover letters you would include with your resumes. These letters highlight the things that make you a perfect fit for that editor or agent. These letters give us an insight into your story and sell us on the project. Yes, we know your writing will still have to do that, but it is that premise that gets us excited about the project.

Unfortunately, too many authors really miss the mark when it comes to query letters. I see so many that have me already deciding the story is not something I will want to read. Authors do everything from filling the letter with fluff, to telling me their story really isn't that good. We see authors tell us that they have already tried numerous other approaches and now they are coming to us (wow, make us feel good!). Some tell us nothing and some blatantly tell us lies (or should we call these "alternate facts). 

However, there are a few things that can make that letter much more profitable. Consider the following: 

• Concrete and Specific - This is really a big one in query letters. Since you are limited by the amount of space you have to provide all of the information, you have to be crystal clear for the editor or agent who is seeing this for the first time. We need those specifics about the characters, the plot, the conflict and their motivations. We need the specifics on the genre and so forth. A good example of this last one would be authors who try to put their novel into multiple genres in the hopes that A) it will appeal to everyone; and B) at least one of those genres might stick with the editor or agent - "I am pitching a 90,000 word women's fiction, inspirational romantic suspense with paranormal elements." If we struggle to grasp where you are going to with this project, consider it a reject. 
• Concise - This element, like the first one deals with the amount of space you have. Query letters, synopsis writing, pitches - these all deal with word economy. Again, remember we aren't spending a lot of time on your query so you have to get to the point, Eliminate the fluff, eliminate all of those secondary characters that aren't really part of the central story arc. Don't drag it out!
• Familiar, not obscure - I see this a lot from authors who, I believe, are trying to impress us with their literary knowledge and background. While editors and agents read a lot and are familiar with a lot of different texts out there, making references to bizarre titles and authors, or ideas that only a few would understand isn't going to help you.
• Precise and clear - Word economy, word economy, word economy. Make sure all of your words mean exactly what you intend them to mean. Make sure you are very clear what your genre is and where it fits. Make sure you are crystal clear about all of your biographical information. Don't try to hide the fact that you haven't been published for over 30 years, and try to make it sound like you are a current author. 
• Constructive - This one is really an issue of your personal voice. Don't come across as negative. Don't downplay your work. Don't try to make excuses. Stick to the point and SHOW the editors and agents you are ready to play the publishing game.
• Appropriately formal - This is a business people. This means your letter needs to reflect that same professional tone you want to be remembered for. You are not sending "a txt to ur BFF" and you certainly are not here to self-disclose all of your personal problems, hang-ups and baggage. 

In simple terms, think of what you are "communicating" to that editor or agent.

And one final note. If your writing chapter is interested in a workshop on writing query letters and synopsis writing, please email me at the agency and we can set things up for you. I have taught these workshops in the past and people really walked away with some great products to send to those editors and agents.

Why I Pass After Only A Query Letter

One of the common responses I hear from authors after I pass on a project is, "If you would just read the story, you would come to a different conclusion." While that might be the case, the odds are, I will still end up with the same decision, even after reading either a partial or the full manuscript. When we read the query letter, we are looking at many different things before deciding to read further. I should note that, yes, I know that many editors and agents just simply say to send everything with every submission, but in all honesty, I am not sure what the point is. A) our In-boxes will be flooded; and B) those stories will still likely get a reject with little reading.

So, the question is, what do I see in a project that would cause me to reject based on the query alone?

(Please note this list is in no particular order)...

The query shows a lack of professionalism. I have talked about this one in the past, but this is personally a big one for me. When I read a query, I am also trying to decide if this is a person that I am going to want to work with for a long period of time. As an agent, this is going to be a commitment. I am not going to see serious results until several books down the line (unless it is an amazing one hit wonder, and those do not happen much). If this person appears to be some random person who really has no clue, this will be more work than it is worth. Not only do I have to work on the project, and make it ready for market, I have to also teach this person to be a professional writer.

The story is not something I represent. Again, this is one of those things I complain about the most. Those of you who follow me on Twitter know this. Pop quiz here... What does Greyhaus Literary Agency represent? Answer: ONLY romance and women's fiction. The guidelines are clear. In fact, I am frequently getting emails from writers thanking me for being so specific. So, when you send me a screenplay for a collection of erotic poetry set in a sci-fi thriller atmosphere that is also a memoir, the answer will be no. Pubtip #1 - Read submission guidelines.

The premise has questionable material in it or things that I personally do not like. Because we want to spend time talking about the project to others, we have to like the content. This is an extremely subjective business and frankly, there are some things we are not going to like. For example:

• I don't mind hot scenes but sex for the sake of sex is not going to work.
• Adultery is not something I want in my stories.
• Teachers getting it on with their students (I am also a college instructor and I am sorry to say this people, even grad students having a relationship with a professor will lead to A) loss of degree; and B) someone getting fired).
• Psychic romantic suspense. Sorry but this is just an easy answer to prevent having to find the killer.
• Etc... I think you get the idea. 

The story has a limited market. I want to create the most opportunities for you. If your story is going going to work for one line, or one editor and that is it, then we are over after that first rejection. Taking on a project like this means that we will spend a lot of time gambling on one thing only. Not worth the investment unless it is that one hit Great American Novel, and even then...

The author thinks he or she is the greatest thing since sliced bread. This one goes back to the professionalism, but telling me that your story is clearly one of the greatest stories ever, or that your story is better than that "Hack Nora Roberts" (and yes, I had someone say that once in a query) you will get rejected. Sorry, but just because you wrote a story does not mean you are a Nobel prize consideration. I had one author tell me Oprah was seriously considering his book. Look, just sending in the project to the company does not mean it is in consideration.

This also extends to those people who have been self-published and then claim amazing sales and followings. Look, being the #1 book on Amazon for romantic fiction set in the stone age with paranormal elements and in Manga form is not really telling us much.

The story is an imitation of other projects. When we read the story and say, hey, isn't this...??? If it is a time travel set in Scotland and the girl is coming from the 1940's, ummmm, I think it has been done. If it is a coming of age story set in a school of witches and the young girl is going to fight the greatest sorceress in the world,.. ummm, I think it has been done. And no, you can not say it is a variation on a theme.

You didn't follow the guidelines. While this is not a deal breaker, I have pretty clear guidelines of what I want submitted.

• In an email, send just a query.
• Using the form, follow the directions
• Sending it snail mail, query, synopsis and only first three pages

When you attach the full manuscript, embed the first three chapters and synopsis, or fill the form out adding material that YOU feel is relevant but is not what I asked for tells me you have a hard time following directions.


The point is, that query letter and your premise do say a lot. Think before you send things out. Follow those directions and be careful. As the Head and Shoulders commercial says, "You never get a second chance to make a first impression."

Or, to quote the hit musical Hamilton, you don't want to "throw away your shot!"

Query Letters Are Not About Being Creative

I have been answering submissions this morning and ran across several that fell into this category. The author is attempting to be creative in the query to get the attention of the agent. While this does make the query stand out, it does not sell the project.

When I teach query writing and synopsis writing, the one thing I emphasize over and over again is that this is simply business correspondence. This is a professional letter that is designed to be purely informative. The query tells us what you are pitching and the basic over-view. The synopsis is the story arc in a straightforward format. The creativity of your writing and the chance to show off your voice comes in the actual manuscript of the partial you might send, or be requested to send.

When authors start to get creative with the query letter, it really slows down the process for the editor or agent when getting those submissions read. Today, for example, I have over 100 new submissions to be read and another 20 or so requested manuscripts to respond to (I've already read the stories so it is just a matter of writing the response). This takes time and when we have to spend the time digging to find out what the project is about, it becomes an immediate, "I don't think so."

I want you to think about getting a job with any other employer. Do you compose a video rap to tell Bill Gates you want a job with his Gates Foundation? Do you contact that law firm with a rambling rant about how "f$#%$%$# ed" up the corporate world is and how you plan to kick some f%^%%^%ing sense into the executives who have messed with the little man?" No. You write a strong business letter to show you are professional.

I understand you want to stand out from the crowd! That is what you need to do. But do so with a letter that shows you are someone the editors and agents will want to work with on all of you novels.

Selling the Complete Package in a Query

I have mentioned this before, but hey, when the comment is a good one, it is always good to remind people. Deb Werksman at Sourcebooks once made a comment during a panel discussion. She stated that they don't just sign a book. They are signing the author to go with that book. Their rationale is to build that career and work together. It's career building!

When we consider authors (and this includes agents and editors) we are looking at the complete package. Sure, we are looking at that single story and that is the one that will be heading up the contract, but we are always looking beyond that. We are looking at the complete package in that query. That includes: the manuscript, the author, the professionalism, the connection we have with the author, and certainly the career. We are looking for everything.

Writers need to understand, that with the exception of those anomalies out there who write one book and their career is made, the normal writer will build his or her career over time. You build your readership. You build your voice. You build your brand. And all of this takes time. For that reason, as we read queries, we are looking at the whole thing.

So, how do you do that in a query letter and a submission?

The query letter itself has a lot to do with this. This shows us, not only the story, but it also shows us your level of professionalism. How it looks and what you say shows your dedication to being a professional in the business. But there is more. That query letter also shows us how much you know and how much we are going to have to teach you. Your knowledge level of the business is going to come out in that query letter through the words you use, the structure of your writing and so forth.

Does this mean you can't be a first time author? Absolutely not. But you have to be able to show that you are not being an elementary level writer. Think of all those times when I remind you to learn your business before you start submitting. This is what we are talking about here.

That query letter also shows us your vision of the future. In that query, we want to see that you are more than a one hit wonder. Do you have a clear direction you are heading? If this is your first book, what else do you have planned? Do you have a clear vision of how many books you are going to write? Have you at least started thinking about building a web presence? Those small things tell us a lot.

And yes, your manuscript and synopsis tell us the level of writing you are at. Is your writing demonstrating that you understand the whys and hows of story craft, or are you just going through the motions. If you remember my comments about Bloom's Taxonomy here, we want to see you at least half-way up that pyramid. We don't want someone who doesn't understand how to write. When we send revisions out to you, we want to know that the story is in good hands and the changes will be made correctly.

So, as you are looking at your query letters this weekend. take the time to review what that query letter says about you. Are you selling just a complete package? Or, are you doing what some authors do when they send me snail mail queries. The shove their manuscript in an envelope and say read it (or like one guy did recently - he tossed two business cards in a envelope). That, my friends, is not marketing the complete package!

Step One To Finding An Agent: Know what you need

One of the things many writers seem to miss when querying agents is understanding their own personal needs and desires. It really seems that the only thing many writers look at is whether or not the agent acquires your personal genre. While this is obviously a good starting point, you need to do much more to truly be successful.

Although agents are all doing much of the same things, we still have different approaches to how we do business and how we work with our clients. Because this is really a marriages of two minds, you have to find the best fit for you.

What are your needs as a writer? Here are a few to consider:

• Do you need someone who is there for you 24/7 for constant feedback?
• Do you need someone there to help you with editorial feedback?
• Do you need someone to always keep you updated with every single nugget of information they get from the editors they send it to?
• Do you need an agent with a hands-off approach. You write and they market?
• Do you need an agent who will spend a lot of time helping you with marketing?
• Do you need an agent who is all about business and can be a tough person when it comes to negotiating?

I think you can see where I am going to with this.

The thing is that with the agents out there, one size does not fit all. Your critique partner might have a great agent, but that is not to say the agent will work for you.

Before you even start sending out queries, take the time to really make a list of your personal desires in this person who will represent your work. You have to consider everything down to personalities of the agent. Don't be shy about your list either. It has to be pretty comprehensive. I know it will seem that you will not be able to find an agent who meets all of those needs, but the right agent is out there who can probably meet 90% of those needs.

Once you do this, then take the next several months researching and stalking those agents. Learn all that you can about that person. Get to know the agent well. Once you do this, you can better personalize that query letter because you know exactly who that person is.

Submissions Involve Targeted Marketing

Although I am not a big fan of this movie, there are things to be said about the approach to resumes we see in the movie LEGALLY BLONDE. When she scents her resume and prints it on pink paper, she is immediately laughed at. But, when asked why, her answer is key - to make the resume stand out among the hundreds of other resumes.

While we do not recommend scenting your emails, authors have to realize that their letter is going to be one of many showing up in that editor or agent's in box that day. Depending on the number of different genres that agency or publisher accepts, that number can be higher or lower. Regardless, your query letter needs to stand out and not just be like all of the others out there.

One of the best ways to make that letter stand out is to remember that every query letter you write is different. The phrase, one size fits all is not applicable to your query letters. Every letter you write has to have a target audience and each one will highlight different things about your story and your professional writing career.

If you write single title historical romance, it is up to you to identify different things in your story that might meet the needs of each of those professionals you send it to. If one is big on the relationship building, then you focus more on the plot between the hero and heroine. If another loves stories with a strong historical backdrop, then you back off on the relationship and focus in on the single historical event your story is built around. If another loves a high level of sensuality and heat, then you emphasize that part of your story.

To do this, however, requires a great deal of research on your part. You need to know not just that the editor or agent acquires your genre, but what specific characteristics that  person likes in a story. As an author, it is your responsibility to do your research on that person. This is the same thing you would do before sending your resume to a potential employer. If you don't know much about the company, you read up on the business, making sure that your skill set matches that of the company.

Your job today is to take at least an hour researching those editors and agents. You don't get to send out projects until you have a full grasp on who the editors or agents are. Make lists, keep records, and be comprehensive in your research. You may find a lot more success and not just end up in some random slush pile.

Don't Assume Anything In Your Query Letters

I have always argued that query letters are no different than cover letters you would include with your resumes you send in to future employers. The agency, or that publisher is your future employer. This means that your query letter is a marketing tool. Unfortunately, I see far too many authors who treat the query letter as simply an informational brochure. When authors do this, they are assuming the editor and/or agent will understand what you are submitting, why it is important, and why you are the best person for the job.

Now, don't get me wrong here. Agents and editors are not idiots. We know when we get something that slightly resembles a query letter, that this is a submission. But, you cannot assume that we see the same things about your project or your writing that we do. It is your job to sell us on your project and you as a writer. Why is it that we need to invest the time and money on you and your writing.

If you think of a cover letter, when you apply for a job, you don't just shove a resume of CV in front of an employer and say, "See? I'm qualified." You have to show them and explain to them why you are the perfect match and why their entire existence depends on you being hired. Even in the descriptions on your resume, you take the time to not just highlight what you did with the company, but to focus in on the RESULTS of the work and the OUTCOMES you achieved.

For the query letter, you need to do the same thing. Why is this story an important document for me to want to read? Why is it that this story, out of all the other projects is a must for the editor or agent to acquire? If all you can come up with is that the story is set in Mongolia and no one has written about a setting like this before, then don't expect anything amazing.

Consider this. If you are writing a women's fiction piece about a woman who has struggled with her identity her entire life. Maybe she was married before and things just didn't work out. She and her husband divorced simply because they fell out of love. But the real issue is that she is now realizing that she really identifies with the LGBT community. Marketing this in a time of this change might be just the thing people are looking for. You have a timeliness factor on your side and, if you can demonstrate that the story is not preaching a position, but looking at this from a real world approach, you might have something unique.

It is also important to realize that editors and agents are reading a lot of these submissions on a daily basis. The odds are, they aren't sitting there and giving every query letter a huge block of time for contemplation and reflection. We wish we could, but the odds are, it isn't going to happen. For this reason, you need to clearly spell things out for the editors and agent.

Let me finally say that some of you might say this is why you have gone with the self-publishing approach. You don't need to sell  anyone. In fact, it should be up to the agent or the editor to sell you as the author on why we need to work with you. The problem though, is that you are still off the mark. If you are self-publishing, which is perfectly fine, it is your responsibility to sell the readers on Amazon, Barnes and Noble or even your local book store that they should invest in your project. A pretty cover, or that fact that your friends all got you to a 5 star review is not enough to convince the reader. You have to do the thinking for them.

So, before you hit send with this next round of query letters today, stop and examine what you have written. Is this an informative document or a persuasive document? Are you truly marketing yourself to that person on the other end of the email?

In Response To An Author - Knowing Agents and Personalizing Queries

I posted a while ago about making sure to personalize your query letters for the agency and agent you are sending things to. One author commented and I wanted to take the time to respond to this.





The trouble is, agents know how unique and different they are. All aspiring authors have to go on is the brief blurb on the agency website, and maybe if you're lucky occasional blog or Youtube interview (which still doesn't tell us much). It's dreadfully hard to personalize [sic] a query letter because that's not enough to begin to get a sense of the agent as a person.



This is something I hear a lot of from authors but there is something I am seeing here that says a lot, and it all comes down to time.




As I have stated here on the blog, and I will continue to do when I speak with authors, is that this business takes time. You cannot rush this business. In fact, with anything we do in the world, to be successful takes time. If we have a career we want to enter, we take the time to learn every nuance of that business to make our resume and our background perfect for the future employer. Even when we start looking at potential companies we wish to work for, we take the time to really explore that company. We want to know what they really do, what their work climate is like and so forth.




And yet, in publishing, I see far too many authors who simply see the agent (and even the publisher) as simply a tools, as a means to the end, which is nothing more than getting the book published. They don't take the time.




In this author's comment, I see a quick search of a website and that is it. Truly getting to know that agent and who they are as a person takes time. It requires going to conferences where they are speaking and listening to them. It takes reading all of the articles they write for other writing groups or online journals. It takes asking around and hearing what a lot of people are saying. AND THEN, it takes synthesizing that information into something that is truly meaningful to you.




Yes, I do know there are agencies that maybe don't give a lot of information on their website about the specifics of what they want, but pay attention to what they are putting on their. Do they only promote certain authors? Do they have a tendency to ignore some authors? What are they spending the time talking about? This will give you the insight.




The author sent a second comment that I also want to respond to:




On the other hand, email queries make it easy (and cheap) to fire off 100s of queries; consequently, agents are getting zillions of queries. Which perhaps means some agents quickly reject and move on--more and more without even a form reply.
I'm sure it's not true of everyone, but I suspect there are some agents who will spend a little more time evaluating a paper submission than an emailed one. Am I wrong?




I cannot respond to what all agents do, but I can respond to what I do, and yes, what I have heard some agents say. Let me address some of these questions/comments individually:




email queries make it easy (and cheap) to fire off 100s [sic] of queries - This is a mistake. Your writing DOES NOT fit with "100's" of agents ( or editors for that matter). You are just throwing darts. When you apply for work, do you just send resumes out to everyone who pops up in the classified ads (for you print people) or in your online searches for jobs in your area? No! You find the jobs you are a "match" with. You should be doing the same here.




agents are getting zillions of queries. Which perhaps means some agents quickly reject and move on--more and more without even a form reply - Some are but they are receiving queries for the entire agency, or they accept a lot of genres. This is not an issue. Do we move fast through the queries? Yes! But here is the thing. We know what we want in a story and we want to see it. Remember that in the "real world" cover letters and resumes are only looked at for under 30 seconds. There is no difference here.




I would also add that it doesn't take much to "quickly reject" a project. That first read through is simply looking at the premise, the genre and the marketability of the project. This is strictly looking at the concept. If that first phase of the marketing sounds great, we can move on to the next level of checking the quality of the work (and that is the request for the material). It is shocking to say this, but authors just give us too many reasons to say no on that first read through.




Now, as to response thing... Yes, I have heard some agents take the approach that no response is a no. I personally don't agree with that. I do think at least a form letter is appropriate. Of course, I know that I have refused to answer some people who have sent things that are either far from professional or clearly someone who is a completely clued out to the world. But those are limiting.




some agents who will spend a little more time evaluating a paper submission than an emailed one. - Be careful with this one. Since we have moved to such a digital world, we like to see those projects in that form. Remember we are reading these on the move. Editors and agents are reading them on their digital devices on mass transit going to and from the office. I would also add that those paper submissions are often a sign to us that the author probably is "out of touch" with what the publishing world is really about.






Yes, this was a bit long, but I think worth it. These were great comments and hopefully gave some insight.




And I have been out of town with some conferences to that is why the blog has been quiet for a while. Will get back to this ASAP!




Scott