The Weird Stuff We Get

I had a submission, or at least I think it was, come in yesterday. When this showed up, I felt it was time to address why so many editors and agents have gone to the "no response means no" approach to submissions. As for me, this person IS NOT getting a response back.

So, let's start with what I got.

This was a three page document folded up in a standard letter format. That part is fine, but then it gets weird.

Stamped on the outside of the folded letter was a stamp saying it is an Alien's Report. At this point, I have to say, I was in one of those situations similar to standing in front of your fridge, open up the milk and notice a strange smell, and yet, you still go ahead and taste it....Yuck!

Opening it up there is a color drawing. I am thinking this person thinks this will be the cover of the book, or at least something heading in that direction. but it was the writing that made the strongest impact.

This is the ramblings of a very strange, disturbed person. My entire family looked at the letter and frankly, none of us could figure it out. This was just weird.

Now, I am sure that this person thinks writing the letter in this format showcases the amazing writing ability of this person. I am sure someone told this person that you have to find a way to get the attention of those editors and agents. While this is important, when you write in a fashion that only provides the reader with negative attention, and less than positive thoughts, you have failed.

Over the years, I have received multiple submissions similar to this. And please note, I am not the only one. Get a group of agents together and it is inevitable that we all reach the "You think that one was bad" conversation about other submissions.

So, let's return this back to your frustrations at getting no feedback from editors and agents. You have to thank those idiots out there who are filling our boxes with garbage such as this. You can also add to this list the numerous writers out there who A) have no understanding how to write anything worth reading; and B) those who have no understanding of publishing as a true business.

If you are serious about being a professional writer, learn to be a professional writer. Demonstrate when you send in that submission you are in this as a business and not just someone who writes "stuff." And for those of you who are still writing that garbage, do us all a favor. First, quit sending us your stuff. Secondly, find a group of other "friends" (or aliens) that share your same interests and write for each other.