Day 4 - (Motivation) Take Charge of your Mental Health

I've seen brilliant dancers burn out during school - not because they weren't good enough, but because they didn't know how to rest, self regulate or ask for help. Mental endurance is part of physical longevity. Train your nervous system like your body. ~Acay Anil

Writing is a tough business. I am not going to lie to you. As a hobby writer, sitting down when you want to and write over a cup of tea in the morning or in the evening is relaxing. Putting words on a page with no pressure of deadlines is enjoyable. There is a freedom of sharing thoughts and expressing your feelings. There is a reason why writing and literature falls into the category of THE HUMANITIES. 

But this also becomes difficult because it DOES fall into the category of THE HUMANITIES and writing DOES deal with raw emotions. We start to care about what we put on that page. We start to care about what others think about what we write. We worry about not being good enough. 

I ask a lot of writers how they feel about sharing their work with others and many openly admit they never like to share their work with anyone until it is 100% perfect in their own eyes. This is far too much pressure to put on anyone. Can we ever be perfect? Can we ever get that sentence just right? Can we ever please every reader out there? The answer is no. And yet, as writers, we cannot seem to wrap our heads around it and we still try to push ourselves to try and achieve it. 

And to what end? 

We mentally push ourselves to the extreme? Writers will lock themselves away in their rooms, headphones on and turn off the their families and work for hours maybe accomplishing very little with their writing, only to come out an emotional wreck. I am reminded of a character of a show I recently watched that I totally loved - Etoile. One of the characters was this much of a perfectionist. Tobias Bell.

While there were other issues at play here, he was an emotional wreck. 

When writers get like this, that mental fatigue leads to physical and social issues as well. It doesn't take much research out there to see the links between these which I know all of you have seen. 

But now, let's add in one more part of the equation. What happens when you become a professional writer and we put in deadlines:

• Proposal to editor by set date - which must be correct and approved
• Draft to editor by set date - which must be correct and approved
• New idea in the works while waiting for edits from editor
• Edits from editor and now on to revisions which have to be back by a certain day - which must be correct and approved
• New idea for next book AND Edits for the last book to editor back - which have to be correct and approved
• Art and Business departments need feedback on cover designs, dedication pages and author notes.
• Market on your part has to be going.
• You are still writing, correct?
• You did remember to go to your real job?
• Did you feed the dogs?
• You do have a family, right?
• Did you do the laundry?
• Did you turn off the stove when you went to the grocery?

And then maybe a review comes in and it is not that good. Or now you worry that if the sales numbers are not there, will you get that next contract because, remember, each contract is based on how well you did on the prior contract? 

You want to talk to someone, but no one would understand what you are going through. Your spouse or significant other would never know because he or she is not a writer. So you try to do this on your own. 

Look back on Anil's comment again... they didn't know how to rest, self regulate or ask for help.

Writers need to know how to find time to just step away. There IS time. Weeks? Maybe not. Time for a walk? Time for a stroll with the dogs or a cup of tea next to a fountain? YES! Can you ask for help? Yes. Remember your critique groups? Remember your editors and agents? Talk to them. Remember your family? Talk to them. They may not be able to help with the writing, but they can cook a dinner, they can bring you a snack, they can just listen.