Watch Your Overly Descriptive Language

Writers are told to make sure to paint a picture for the reader, to draw us in, to use your senses when describing. This is correct. However, one thing many writers seem to miss is that too much ruins everything and you end up with forced writing.

I honestly think many writers have been told to be more descriptive, so they end up placing that description in every paragraph. When a character walks into a room, the "turn on description" kicks in an suddenly it is as if we are examining every nook and cranny of the room. To add to this, the writer has added all of the other senses, trying to get across the feel of the fabric, the smell of the wood... you get the idea. Simply too much.

Along the same lines, think about what your objective is for that description. We don't describe things for the sake of description. It is there for a purpose. Is it to set a mood? To get a point out about a character? If this is the first time we meet the heroine and she is a small town farm girl, what will her kitchen look like? The description is what adds the depth to the character!

I pulled a paragraph from Bronwyn Scott's Untamed Rogue, Scandalous Mistress to demonstrate just this:

Crispin jumped down from Sheikh and tossed the reins to a groom who'd come running from the stables the moment he' been sighted. He mounted the wide steps to the front door, taking in a moment at the top to survey the park spread out around him. The place looked the same as it always had: the lawns neatly manicured, the hedges that bordered the gardens impeccably trimmed, flowers blooming when and where they should. He chuckled to himself. Even nature in late winter obeyed Peyton and Dursley Park was clearly Peyton's domain; well ordered an peaceful.

You will note that we have just enough description of Dursley Park and that the ultimate goal is to show the perfection in the building. Nothing out of place and everything runs like clockwork. The groom was there as predicted, plants in order, etc. Now in the case of this one, a writer could have gone over the top and really ruined the pace of the writing. For example.

Crispin jumped down from Sheikh and tossed the reins to a groom who'd come running from the stables the moment he' been sighted. The groom clearly had been in the middle of another project considering he was covered with chocolate covered mud and his hair was tossed around on his hair as if he had been shocked by electricity. He mounted the wide steps to the enormous front door with the ornate carvings of mahogany and glass. Crispin ran his fingers over the door, feeling the smooth finish and warmth of the home. He paused briefly, turning around and taking in a moment at the top to survey the park spread out around him. The smell of the winter morning bombarded his senses, chilling and warming him at the same time. He could smell the fires of the home burning, a comforting campfire smell similar to what he had experienced as a little child with his brothers. The place looked the same as it always had: the lawns neatly manicured, looking like carpets of emerald green, the hedges that bordered the gardens impeccably trimmed creating a perfect barrier between the pathways of rust brown and the perfecton of the grass, flowers of a full rainbow that provided a full feast for the eyes in every shade, blooming when and where they should. He chuckled to himself. Even nature in late winter obeyed Peyton and Dursley Park was clearly Peyton's domain; well ordered an peaceful.

See what I mean. Simply too much and fortunately, Bronwyn knew what to include and what not to include.

A good practice is to take one of your paragraphs where you start describing things and then track how much you packed into that description. At the same time, track which of the senses you seem to be hung up on. Are you relying on adjectives and adjectives? Find a pattern and then reduce it.

Remember, the idea is to bring us into the story, not give us that microscopic view of everything. Sometimes too much will ruin it all.

Scott